mommy in waiting

"Why Ron Paul?" by Voddie Baucham

2012-01-26T17:31:00.000-06:00

Voddie, because I have a great respect for you and your opinion I would really like to know why you are voting for Ron Paul ? I have not liked some of the things I have heard him say and I am wondering if I missed something?" -Pamela Wolfe (via Facebook Fan Page)

Since posting a passing comment on my Facebook fan page about Ron Paul, I have been inundated with questions and concerns about my support of the Texas Congressman in the current Republican Primary race. In one of my many political posts (frequently, I post videos, news articles, etc., in an effort to show the importance and influence of worldview), I simply stated that I voted for Dr. Paul in the last election, and planned to vote for him again.

The result was hundreds of comments; more than any other post I’ve ever submitted. Most of the comments were positive. However, several were extremely negative. Some vowed never to follow, or support my ministry any further, while others simply communicated their dismay. Still others, like today's questioner, just asked honest questions. As a result, I’ve decided to explain my position, and this seemed like the best place to do it.

Let me say ahead of time that I do not believe that politics will save America. Nor do I believe there are any perfect candidates. There never have been, and there never will be. Moreover, it is not my goal to answer every objection to the Paul candidacy as I know that there are those who, for various reasons, will not be persuaded, and more importantly, that’s not my job. My goal here is to offer insight in to my own reasoning as I wade through another political season and make a personal choice.

I. Ron Paul is a Christian Conservative

While I am not looking for a “Pastor-in-Chief,” it is important to me that the man for whom I cast my vote be a Christian, if at all possible. And though I recognize that there is not always a clear Christian choice (i.e., the 2008 election), I agree with Chief Justice John Jay who wrote, “Providence has given to our people the choice of their rulers, and it is the duty as well as the privilege and interest of our Christian nation to select and prefer Christians for their rulers."[1] For indeed, “Before any man can be considered as a member of Civil Society, he must be considered as a subject of the Governour of the Universe.”[2] John Witherspoon concurs: “Those, therefore, who pay no regard to religion and sobriety in the persons whom they send to [public office] are guilty of the greatest absurdity and will soon pay dear for their folly.”[3] I think we are seeing this on display right now.[4]

My desire is not to see a president who will usurp the authority, responsibilities, or privileges of the Church. However, I do not wish to see those things hindered either. I also want to know that the foundational ideology motivating a man’s decisions is biblical. I know it will not always mirror my own, but I trust God’s word, and appreciate those who look to it for aid in making decisions. To that end, I support Dr. Paul because he is not just a conservative, but a Christian Conservative.

Dr. Paul does not beat his Christian faith like a drum in his public/political life. Unfortunately, that is off-putting for the “Christian Right”. However, in a world full of ‘posturing’ in an effort to win over evangelicals, I find Paul’s public demeanor refreshing. And it is not as though he is a ‘closet Christian,’ either. “I have accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Savior, and I endeavor every day to follow Him in all I do and in every position I advocate,” wrote Paul on his Web site.[5] I have also had the privilege of talking with both him, and one of his five children about his faith and how it influences his policy positions.

Nevertheless, the more important aspect is the fact that this Southern Baptist (raised Lutheran) is a regular church attender. What would motivate a man to attend church, but not beat a drum about it in an effort to win over evangelicals in an age when political figures play at Christianity (while living totally contradictory lives, and holding heterodox beliefs) in order to assuage the fears of the Christian Right? Having met and talked to Dr. Paul, I would say it is authenticity, and humility more than anything else. He wants “to avoid any appearance of exploiting [his faith] for political gain.”[6]

II. Ron Paul is a Constitutional Conservative

Not only is Ron Paul a Christian Conservative; he is also a Constitutional Conservative. He holds himself accountable to the Constitution of the United States, even when it means he has to vote against legislation that may be otherwise beneficial. This has cost him on numerous occasions as people use the “Ron Paul voted against so-and-so” tactic to paint a caricature of him and play “gotcha” politics.
This is actually an important quality in a President. I don’t want a man in the White House making decisions based on what “feels” right. I’m not looking for a conscientious King; I want a Chief Executive. I want a man whose decisions are predictable because of a long track record of constitutional conservatism. I may not always agree with a man like that, but I will always know why he did what he did, and I can live with that. Especially in several crucial areas facing our Republic, like money, war, States’ Rights, and foreign policy, for example.

Constitutional Money

I support Ron Paul because he has a constitutional view of money. He is the only candidate consistently to confront the Federal Reserve Bank (which is not federal, has no reserves, and is not a bank), and address the issue of fiat currency (a.k.a. unjust weights and measures; Lev 19:36; Prov 16:11), which debases the dollar, manipulates business cycles, creates inflation, and always benefits the rich at the expense of the poor and disenfranchised. And he talks about the issue in just those terms.

Congressman Paul is also the only candidate who has a budget that will cut a TRILLION DOLLARS in spending in year one.[7] He is the only candidate who has committed to defund and eliminate expensive, unconstitutional agencies. This is crucial for a country headed for an economic cliff. Our debt is larger than our GDP and we simply must address it NOW (Luke 14:28)! This is arguably the most important issue we face, and while others want to tinker with the status quo, Dr. Paul wants to do the hard thing; the right thing; the biblical thing; the constitutional thing.

Constitutional War

I support Ron Paul because he is a military veteran (yup... he refuses to beat that drum too, which is why you may not have known that little tidbit). And though I do not believe it is necessary for a man to have served in the military for him to serve as President, the fact that Congressman Paul knows and hates war lends credibility to his desire and commitment to ending the wars and bringing our troops home. Moreover, he has a constitutional understanding of war (only Congress can send us to war), and a Christian commitment to historic Just War Theory (rooted in the Sixth Commandment... HIS WORDS).[8] He, unlike other candidates, can be counted on not to commit to acts of war without congressional authority (i.e., unilaterally deciding to bomb a sovereign nation if they advance their weapons technology in a region several thousand miles away from the U.S., under the watchful eye of a nation with over 300 nukes who can stop them in a heartbeat... but I digress).

There is a reason Dr. Paul has received more support from members of the military than all other candidates (Republican and Democrat) COMBINED! The top three employers of Ron Paul’s donors are the U.S. Army, Navy, and Air Force, respectively. Dr. Paul will not use our military to hunt down and overthrow heads of state without Congressional authority (i.e., Libya), kill American citizens without warrant,[9] detain citizens indefinitely without benefit of a trial,[10] or chase warlords in central Africa.[11] When it comes to war, Dr. Paul understands that, “Whoever meddles in a quarrel not his own is like one who takes a passing dog by the ears.” (Proverbs 26:17)

Constitutional States’ Rights

I support Ron Paul because he not only understands, but believes in the Tenth Amendment. I know many Christians have been scared off by the “Ron Paul wants to legalize drugs, gay marriage, and abortion” rhetoric. However, looking beyond the rhetoric reveals Paul’s true constitutional conservatism (and biblical understanding of jurisdiction). He has personal convictions, but those will not be allowed to steer him away from his constitutional oath. The presidency, and the Federal Government have limits.

The President is not “Pastor in Chief.” It is not the President’s job (or the job of the Federal Government) to set such policies. The “War on Drugs,” for example, has been a monumental, unconstitutional, fiscal failure (to the tune of more than $3 BILLION)![12] The Federal Government must be held within the confines of its enumerated powers. This is important for Christians because we will not always have people in the White House with whom we agree (in fact, politicians will always let us down). What happens when we send a man to the White House with the express purpose of “changing the moral standards” of America in our favor, then, down the line we have a president who uses the same un-cheked powers to promote moral standards with which we disagree? How’s that workin’ for ya’?

But what about the moral issues to which we, as Christians, must speak? First, we must speak to them at the local level. I have no right to look to Washington, D.C. for remedies when I am not preaching on Mars Hill at every opportunity. The Roe v. Wade, for example, started in Texas; not D.C.. Furthermore, there is not a single institution more prolific in the spread of moral decay than the government education system, and Ron Paul is the only man who plans to get the federal government out of that business by ending the (unconstitutional) Department of Education IMMEDIATELY (Luke 6:40).

Beyond that, if there are issues we wish to address on a federal level, we have a federal remedy, and it is not the election of a President; it is the amendment process. This is less favorable to those who do not wish to do the hard work of changing hearts and minds in the marketplace of ideas. However, the alternative is a quasi-monarchy (or oligarchy) that changes with the wind, and a view of the presidency that is both unbiblical and unconstitutional.

Constitutional Foreign Policy

I support Ron Paul because he has a constitutional view of foreign policy. Ironically, our foreign policy has been so unconstitutional for so long that many people recoil at the idea of getting it back in line. Moreover, the semantic game Paul’s opponents play (using “isolationism” as opposed to “non-intervention” to define his position) doesn’t help. For most Christians, this is where they believe I’ve left the reservation. They may not say, “We have to be the world’s police force,” but I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard, “Do you know his position on Israel?” “Surely you can’t support a man who doesn’t support Israel!”

Actually, nothing could be further from the truth. Ron Paul does support Israel. It is our current foreign policy that does not support Israel! However, there is a deeper issue here. There is a sort of misplaced Dispensationalism that governs people’s sentimental attitude toward Israel. Let me state clearly that I do not believe the Bible demands that the U.S. support Israel. I do, however, believe that it is wise to do so for geopolitical reasons. To do so for theological reasons, I believe, is actually misguided, and quite dangerous. Nevertheless, Israel is our only true ally in the Middle East, and that is important.

But there’s a more important question: “What does it mean to “support” Israel?” Does it mean that Israel remains God’s “Chosen People,” and we must stand with them in anticipation of the coming Armageddon? Is the President to act as “Commander in Chief of the United States Armed Forces” and “Supreme Defender of Israel”? Or are we simply to make sure the foreign aid dollars don’t stop flowing? Here are a few things I took into to consideration in evaluating Congressman Paul’s foreign policy.

Israel is the most powerful nation in the Middle East... BY A LONG SHOT! In fact, Israel could potentially defeat all the other military powers in the Middle East simultaneously if they had to.
We not only give money to Israel; we give money to their enemies as well. That is not supporting Israel! That is using money to buy influence in a region thousands of miles away from us in the name of oil, when we happen to have the largest repository of oil on planet earth right here in the US, but refuse to go and get it (in the name of Earth-worshipping environmentalism)!
Israel is a sovereign nation, and we have no right to treat her like a child. Our foreign aid has been a tool used to influence Israel’s domestic policy for far too long. If we are their friends, we should allow them to exercise their sovereignty without our interference, and certainly without our condemnation. Who do we think we are? No, I disagree with my Christian brothers and sisters who think a country who supports Israel’s enemies, interferes with Israel’s domestic policy, condemn’s Israel in efforts to keep ties with oil-rich countries in the region, and helps to destabilize and radicalize one of Israel’s historic foes lurking on her southern boarder is engaging in a foreign policy that supports Israel.

III. Ron Paul is a Consistent Conservative

Finally, I support Dr. Paul because he has been a consistent conservative. He has been married to the same woman for more than fifty years; delivered over 4,000 babies as an OB; never performed a single abortion; has never voted for an unbalanced budget, a tax increase, or a bailout; forecasted the economic debacle long before it happened;[13] and gave back $140,000 last year through his office to pay down the national debt (100,000 in 2010). This man is so principled that he refuses to claim his congressional pension!

Ron Paul is the real deal. He is not perfect. He needs a savior just like you and I do (as noted by his trust in Christ as his redeemer). But when it’s all said and done, he is a man with whom I agree in principle. I know where he’s coming from, and it’s not based on his “personal story,” or his sense of what’s going to get him elected. It’s the same thing he’s been running on (and governing from) for over three decades; the Constitution of the United States (viewed through the lens of a basic biblical world and life view). And I’m glad to support a man like that.

We Support Ron Paul!

2012-01-13T16:39:00.000-06:00

This isn't a political blog, per se, but I'd imagine that for the next, oh, 11 months or so you might see a few posts concerning the presidential election. For some reason, this is something I'm rather passionate about (as many of you who are my Facebook friends may have realized).

So, just for the record, my husband Trevvor and I support Ron Paul for president. He is consistent (current clips of him speaking might as well be re-plays of clips from 20 years ago..minus the gray hair), he is morally conservative (though he recognizes the boundaries of letting personal belief dictate your actions as president), he is submissive to the Constitution (a trait missing from BOTH sides of the aisle), and he flat-out makes sense. We first noticed him back in 2008 when we realized that he was the most ardent supporter of home-schooling of all the candidates at the time, and as far as I can tell he still is. We started doing our research and realized that he is also on the right side of most of the other issues dear to our hearts as well. You can read about those issues here: Ron Paul: The Issues. I would encourage you to research these things for yourself and not let the media (whether it is WORLD magazine or NPR) paraphrase this incredible man.

Incidentally, Ron Paul is consistently the "highest scorer" on all of Vision Forum's "Constitutional Report Cards" that they issue after each primary debate.

I don't want to spend a huge amount of time discussing RP's stands on various issues--he does that himself on his website. But I do want to address the question of his electability, which many--even those who agree with him--seem to doubt.
The question I'm most often asked is this: "Is Ron Paul electable?" I would answer with a resounding "YES!" His most difficult challenge will be getting through the primaries, but after a third-place finish in Iowa, a second-place finish in New Hampshire, and being one of only two candidates on Virginia's ballot, I'd say he has a pretty good shot at doing just fine there too. Once he is the nominated candidate for the GOP, I believe that he can conquer Obama with relative ease for three reasons.

1) The vast majority of Republicans will vote for ANYONE in order to ensure Obama never sees a second term. (And once Ron Paul's message is honestly communicated to the masses, they'd vote for him anyway!)
2) Ron Paul, because of his reliance on the Constitution in all matters, has a bipartisan appeal of which the other Republican candidates can only dream. This will draw away morally conservative Democrats from Obama's voting base that would never vote for a Republican otherwise (even if they don't like Obama).
3) So after all the Republicans and a chunk of the Democrats, Ron Paul would also bring with him A) Independent and Libertarian voters that would otherwise vote for a third-party candidate & B) an overwhelming number of young voters that would be apathetic about this election were Ron Paul not in the race. Dr. Paul is a veritable rock star on college campi across the nation. (On this note: If Ron Paul is not the Republican candidate, Obama stands in a much better position to win because the GOP would lose the third-party voting base and the young folks, possibly even to Obama himself.)

So, that's my political spiel. In conclusion, vote for Ron Paul (but only after you have done the research for yourself)!

My infertility interview over at "Pursuing Titus 2"

2011-12-13T15:47:00.000-06:00

Hey y'all! Just wanted to let you know that my dear blog friend Andrea is doing a great series on infertility as it relates to the "Quiverfull" movement. (If you don't know what that is, it's basically what Trevvor and I believe: babies are a blessing all the time.) She's interviewing several of us ladies who struggle with fertility but who are Quiverfull advocates, and she posted mine a couple of days ago.

You can find my interview here:
Viewing the Quiverfull World Through the Lens of Infertility: Part II

While you're there, check out her other posts too. Her blog is an absolute wealth of wisdom concerning marriage, children, modesty, and just general Christian living. One of her posts that most convicted me was "A Movement is not a Messiah." Boy, is that something I struggle with or what! (See, I said it so that none of you would feel like you needed to point it out!)

Simply Smaller

2011-12-05T17:02:00.000-06:00

In March, Trevvor and I bought a house. It has three bedrooms and two bathrooms. It has a living room as well as a basement den. There is a one-car garage, which is currently housing unneeded stuff rather than one of our two cars. It is a whopping 1300 square foot home with a spacious yard in which we spend way more time mowing than playing. It is the biggest home we have ever had, the first we have ever owned. It's beautiful, and it's in a safe, convenient neighborhood to boot.

But after a few months... we've started to get restless. We still love the house. We are so grateful for this wonderful place to live. But we look around us and we see... too much. Too much space, too much stuff, too much time & money caring for all that space & stuff. We realize that we have WAY more than we "need" for just the two of us, even for the three or four of us when, Lord willing, we begin having children. We see that--not only do we have so, so much more than most of the world's population--we are so tied down by what we have we are quite limited in what we can do to help those who have less than ourselves.

We see that our weekends are taken up by cleaning, repairing, maintaining, and spending money on our house and yard. We can't do the things we want to do because of the responsibilities and expenses that come with owning such a large home filled with possessions.

Now, don't get me wrong, if we had 4+ kids, we could more easily justify this time and expense. But it's probably going to be quite a while until we have those kids, and in the meantime, we can't enjoy being "just the two of us" as much, we can't save as much for our future, and most importantly, we can't invest as much in God's kingdom.

And so, while we're reluctant to move again (though we're beginning to believe that we're nomads at heart), we have been considering our options.

At first, we considered a "tiny house" from the Tumbleweed Tiny House Company. We LOVE these houses, and if it weren't for our five "fur-babies," we would consider this option even more seriously. It has everything you need: a place to prepare food and eat, a bathroom, a place to sleep, and more storage space than you would expect. Oh, and it's mobile. For us, that seems to be pretty important. But four inside cats and two people in 130+ square feet doesn't seem practical.

Just for laughs I'll tell you that Trevvor also suggested living in a tent. Not the weekend-camping-trip sort of tent, but a semi-permanent canvas dwelling. I seriously thought about it for a few minutes, but the fur-babies also put a damper on that plan. Trevvor was disappointed, but surprised I'd even taken a moment to consider rather than flatly refusing. (NB: They can be much bigger than the picture shows.)

We've also considered moving back to an apartment, but Trevvor says we would be hit with taxes for selling house without buying another one, and then there is the need for a yard for Dune. Still an option though, because after all, with a 30 year mortgage we're pretty much throwing our money away on interest for the first umpteen years....

What we're currently considering is selling our home and buying a smaller house on a smaller lot. We're thinking either a 2 bed/1 bath or even a 1 bed/1 bath on a lot with just enough room for Dune and a small garden. We're looking for a cottage- or bungalow-style that is well-built with maybe a few cosmetic needs. The idea is to put our home on the market after the holidays and see what happens, praying all the way.

We don't want to seem ungrateful, and we know a lot of people do/will think we're nuts. Downsize? From a perfectly acceptable 1300 square foot house that we just bought?? Yeah, it seems pretty crazy. And maybe it is. But we want to be free to give and free to save. We want to be free from our stuff, all this stuff that we rarely use. We don't want to store up our treasures on Earth.

Jesus said to him, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.” But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions.

- Matthew 19:21-22

Tired of Trying

2011-10-22T13:56:00.003-05:00

I've decided that the hardest part of trying to conceive is that two-week-wait after ovulation and before you can test for pregnancy. It's not the medication, it's not the well-meaning people that say hurtful things, it's not the "timed baby dancing," it's not my friends getting pregnant all around me, it's not even finding out I didn't ovulate--it's that wait. Because when I don't ovulate, I know for sure: there will be no baby this month. And I can move on. But when I do ovulate, and "things" were timed seemingly just right--as they were a couple of weeks ago--those two weeks are nearly unbearable.

So the past 18 or so days I've been talking myself into being pregnant, and then minutes later talking myself out of it again:

"Hey, I sure am tired..." then "Well, I did stay up late last night after all."

"Wow, am I more hungry than usual or what?" then "I have been working out more this week."

"Ugh, this chicken sure smells funny and it's usually great..." then "Well maybe it's just a funky batch."

And finally, "I'm feeling pretty crampy...is that early pregnancy or PMS??"

But when my basal body temperature dropped back down to my coverline this morning--almost right on schedule--I knew, and I silently cried. Now I have only to wait for my period to actually start to confirm things, and that silly little voice of the Thing with Feathers is in my head saying, "Wait! Don't give up yet!" But I know, somehow, that Hope's promises are false.

I'm tired, y'all, and I'm discouraged. I'm tired of taking medication, timing the baby dance, tracking my BBT, over-analyzing every little twinge or sensation. It's emotionally exhausting. We've been trying for over two years, and though I know there are many couples who have tried much longer, two years is feeling like a long, long time.

I'm tired of watching so many friends who have been married for less than half the time we've been trying to have a baby get pregnant all around us. (Facebook is NOT my friend.) I try to rejoice with them, and for their sakes' I am happy, but I have to admit it causes me pain in the most selfish, fallen part of my heart.

Those nagging questions come back again, taunting me with my past and present sins and struggles, saying "No wonder they're pregnant and you're not, you horrible excuse for a Christian," and "You're worthless, woman: you can't even fulfill the most basic function of your existence." I'm tired of having to fight those lies so constantly.

I'm tired of having much-loved and well-meaning individuals (some of whom use birth control, ironically--but that's another post) remind me that "God's timing is perfect" or "God will bless you when He's ready" or "the Lord has a plan." All of these are true and good statements, and I feel like that horrible excuse for a Christian when I have the urge to glare at their speakers. But I've had so many people tell me these things so many times that I now feel like they are just saying them so that they don't have to deal with my pain head-on--they can pass it off to God, okay, they've done their duty, now I'm supposed to feel better. Guess what? I appreciate the thought and all, but I don't feel better. Just say (and mean) "I'm so sorry. I'll pray for you." That is all I need.

So now what? Do I just give up? Do I keep trying, timing, hoping? The only thing I know to do is keep praying, but how will I know when God answers me?

The Sailors' Folly

2011-09-14T14:37:00.002-05:00

Then they said to him, "What shall we do to you, that the sea may quiet down for us?" For the sea grew more and more tempestuous. He said to them, "Pick me up and hurl me into the sea; then the sea will quiet down for you, for I know it is because of me that this great tempest has come upon you." Nevertheless, the men rowed hard to get back to dry land, but they could not, for the sea grew more and more tempestuous against them. (Jonah 1:11-13, emphasis mine)

When I was reading this passage this morning, I couldn't help but notice that, so often, I am these sailors. God says, "Let go of the oars. To get to safety, to reach salvation, you must rely on My strength, you must follow My commands, you must submit your life to Me."

But I reply, "No, Lord! I can do this on my own! I can reach You without relying on You! I can find salvation with my own ideas; I don't need Your commands!"

Put that way, doesn't it sound absurd? Yet I don't think I'm the only one who struggles with "releasing the oars" to God's control in order to find Him.

May we all have the wisdom to realize our folly as the sailors did and cry out, "O Lord, have done as it pleased you!"

So they picked up Jonah and hurled him into the sea, and the sea ceased from its raging. Then the men feared the Lord exceedingly, and they offered a sacrifice to the Lord and made vows. (Jonah 1:15-16)

Watch "Divided" for Free!

2011-09-10T11:30:00.001-05:00

Is modern youth ministry multiplying or dividing our Lord's church? Find out in this awesome documentary, which you can watch for free, thanks to Generation Cedar!

Click here to watch: http://dividedthemovie.com/kelly-crawford

As you look on the church landscape, youth are leaving the faith in droves. The modern church, overall, is struggling to reach the next generation with the gospel. What has happened? Whether for good or bad, men, for many years, have been inventing solutions or brainstorming ideas without fully relying upon the foundation of God’s Word. God, however, is greater than man, and as the heavens are above the earth, so are His ways higher than ours and His thoughts than our thoughts (Is. 55:8-9). We have substituted the greater for the lesser – God’s wisdom for man’s ideas. Jesus said that he who hears His Word and does it, is like a man that built his house upon a rock, and when the storm came, it stood firm. On the other hand, he who rejects His Word, is like a man who built on the sand and when the storm came, the house fell (Matt. 7:24-25). Shouldn’t the church, as a whole, abandon the sandy ideas of man and shamelessly return to the firm rock of the Word of God? God’s Word sufficiently identifies how youth are to be reached. For more information on this issue, please see the film Divided, which is a documentary on age-segregated youth ministry in America. Watch it for free (for a limited time) atwww.dividedthemovie.com. For an in-depth study, the book A Weed in the Church delves into the topic and more thoroughly handles the Scripture passages that address ministry to young people. For other details or to help spread the message, visit www.dividedthemovie.com.

After watching, let me know what you think in the comments!

Autumn Winds Bring a New Baby Game Plan

2011-09-07T09:59:00.000-05:00

I have an excuse! I do! I know it's been forever since I've posted (again), but I have an excuse! It is this: we cut off our internet. Multiple reasons went into this, the final one being budget cuts. (Who knew owning a house could be so pricey?) Another major one was the time we both--especially me--wasted on the computer. We live only a few minutes from some free hot-spots, so if we REALLY need to get on the internet, we can go there (in fact, I'm writing this from the Whataburger down the road). Obviously, I haven't "really" needed to get on the internet very often, and when I do, it's a quick in-and-out, so to speak.

We're having a series of dreary days here, but I'm grateful, because rain came along with them, and we desperately needed some (though not as badly as Texas). The relief from the heat has been welcome as well: I'm cozy in my flannel shirt today. Yey fall!

Since I last posted, a couple of things have changed. The most major change is that we stopped training to become foster parents. The training class was called "Deciding Together" and was aimed at helping hopeful foster folks decide if this unique situation is right for your family. We decided after prayer and discussion over several weeks that in this time, it is not right for us. The aim of foster care is to reunify the children with the parents if at all possible, and we knew that we could not wholeheartedly work towards that goal while we were so desperate for children. Foster care, I imagine, is still in our future, though it is more likely that it will be after we've had/adopted children and they are either older (high school) or we are empty-nesters.

We have also all but ceased fertility treatments; they were just too expensive, and we absolutely could not afford them. We are saving as hard as we can this year, in hopes that perhaps next year we can start again. However, there is some good news! Towards the end of July I ovulated...WITHOUT medication! It (obviously) didn't result in a pregnancy, but boy was I thrilled to learn that my body was still capable of doing so "on its own."

So this is our game plan:
#1. Pray for natural ovulation, conception, and a healthy pregnancy. Pray also for ourselves as we deal with all the emotional, spiritual, and physical challenges that are involved in trying for a baby with continued negative pregnancy tests. (In fact, I took one this morning "just in case," and was confronted by a single pink line..again.) Would you join us in these prayers?

#2. Radically change our diet (I type as I sit in Whataburger). We are trying valiantly (though not always successfully) to cut out sugar, gluten, and dairy from our diet, not to mention all processed foods. So what are we eating, you ask? Well, lots of organic... fresh vegetables and fruits; lean meats and legumes; oatmeal, brown rice, couscous, and quinoa; nuts and seeds; and fresh carrot juice. We're also going to be experimenting with gluten-free flours, because we both love baking.
I'm also continuing to exercise 2-3 times a week at Curves.

So we'll see what happens. I know it is in God's hands, whether we change our diet, take medication, or do nothing at all. Right now, though, I'm thoroughly enjoying every moment of it being "just the two of us." Trevvor is my best friend, and though I am eager for children, I don't mind not having to share him for a little while longer. ;)

A Hopeful Momma's Morning at the ART Fertility Program

2011-07-01T08:00:00.020-05:00

We were late. We couldn't figure out where to park, so we walked into the ART Fertility Program's office about 10 minutes after our appointment time. Whoops.

Obviously I'm not going to post all of the gory details, but here are the highlights.

The meeting with the doctor was informative. We decided to take a more conservative approach, and so rather than a more invasive measure, we're going to try Femara, which is Clomid on steroids and apparently without the negative side effects. I'll be much more closely monitored during these Femara cycles than I was while on Clomid, going in several times during the month for bloodwork and evaluations.
While starting up on that, they're going to be doing a series of labs and tests and ultrasounds and all kinds of stuff to try to figure out the "why" of my infertility, which is a relief. It's quite possible that there's something going on of which infertility is only an indirect result, or that my infertility is directly caused by a problem much more serious than just "not ovulating" and which needs to be quickly addressed.

When we'd walked into the waiting area, I'd given us a once over. I was in my longest skirt, a button-down shirt, and a white covering. Trevvor was bearded (as usual), had on a solid white shirt, and dark pants. I mused, "People are going to think we're Amish or something." In the meeting with Dr. Houserman, we mentioned we'd missed a month of bloodwork because we were visiting Pennsylvania. Sure enough, a few minutes later, despite my French braid and Trevvor's dress watch, she asked if we were Amish. :)

We also met with a nurse practitioner for a physical, a nurse for treatment plan counseling, and a financial adviser. Things were going great until that financial adviser walked in. "Wow," she said. "You have a really big deductible. Until you meet it, you'll have to pay 100% for things at the time of service."

Needless to say, we were floored. (And so was the receptionist when we payed the much-higher-than-expected bill later. "You have a ginormous deductible!" she told us. "Yeah," I said. "So we've heard.") Sure, we'd known we had a big deductible, and we could understand if BCBS wouldn't cover things like IUI or IVF (which they actually will...if we've met the deductible by then), but just basic treatments? Really? We weren't prepared for that, and nor were we prepared for that first bill. "Our maybe-baby better love us a LOT after all of this," I told Trevvor tongue-in-cheek.

So we're re-evaluating things at the moment, squeezing every possible penny into our savings, and praying hard. We really can't afford the plan of action they'd laid out for us; buying and fixing up a house has left us with a much reduced savings that we're just beginning to build back up. But we've dived (dove? diven?) in head first, and would it really be wise to back out now?

Pray that God would give us guidance as we make these big (and expensive) decisions.

Patiently waiting...

Mommy in Waiting

2011-06-29T22:51:00.000-05:00

So I haven't been writing much. Okay, I haven't been writing at all. I've missed it, but I've found that whenever I think, "I need to write a blog post," the things I want to write about aren't necessarily the things that I'm known for writing about. Maybe I've vented about hot-button issues enough for a while, or maybe since I've more or less worked out where I stand on those issues, I'm not always hashing and re-hashing them in my mind.

Either way, the mood of this blog is changing to reflect my thoughts. You can see that in my new title, "Mommy in Waiting." (If you're linked to me on your blog, it would be great if you could change it.)

So much of my life now revolves around motherhood, and I'm not even really a mother yet. The most recent objects of my mothering have been the four kittens that were born in our house on Trevvor's birthday this year (April 12). There are three still living with us, with two of them about to be adopted by Trevvor's mom (we're keeping one).

Many of you have probably been wondering how all my fertility stuff has been going, and possibly even suspected that the reason for my blog silence has been due to a pregnancy. In God's sovereignty, I have not conceived, and Clomid and I didn't agree with one another. I started Clomid last July, and the past year has certainly been rough on the emotions. When I didn't ovulate on my last cycle, my OB/GYN decided it was time for me to move into more expert hands. This morning Trevvor and I had our initial work-up at the ART Fertility Program in Birmingham. (That could--and possibly will--be a whole nother blog post in itself.) So the fertility ball is back on the court and once again rolling towards the possibility of conception. I'll keep you posted.

But we've also begun to really move forward towards becoming foster/adoptive parents through AGAPE of Central Alabama. We sent in our application as we were moving a few months ago, and last week we began our training classes with Melissa, our social worker. By the end of the classes, the background check, and the home-study, we will decide with Melissa if we are ready and able to be certified as either a foster or adoptive family, or both. We realized that we didn't want to foster while we had young kids in the house, and so now--when we don't have young kids in the house--would be the ideal time to do so. We've wondered all along if God was "withholding" a birth child so we would open our arms to His children in need of a family.

I am a Mommy in Waiting, and I pray that I can wait patiently for God's timing.

Everything's gonna be okay....

2011-05-04T15:35:00.001-05:00

I never took tornadoes seriously until last Wednesday. I'd lived through possibly hundreds of warning sirens over my lifetime without ever having lost a loved one or my home being damaged. Even my friends and the areas I was familiar with had always escaped unscathed.

But not this time.

In God's mercy, our lives and our home were spared. My family is safe, their homes are fine as well. But destruction is all around us. People keep saying it looks like a war zone, and it really does. Last night Trevvor and I drove to Tuscaloosa, where it was hit even harder. Places I used to hang out all the time, friends' apartments... leveled. One of our friends was killed; we went for his memorial service. A mile away from us here in Fultondale two apartment complexes were ripped apart. Some houses in a nearby neighborhood are leveled, some only damaged, and some perfectly fine, with no rhyme or reason to it.

It's like it should be a movie, but it's real.

But even in the face of this absolute devastation and heartbreak, there is hope and light. God's people have gathered like I've never seen before in person. It's incredible! There are people streaming in on every hand to help in the name of the Lord. It has been amazing to watch the unity all around me, unity transcending color, class, and even religion.

I can't help but have the fleeting thoughts.. "Why did Marcus have to die?" "Why them and not us?" "Why do You allow weather to even do this?"
But there is no "why," at least, not the kind of "why" I'm looking for. There is no answer that we can understand. But through it all, God is sovereign. He is able to work through any circumstances for His purposes. All we can do is help one another with our time, our money, and even by donating our blood. But the most important thing we can do is pray. Pray that God will be glorified, praise Him in this storm! Pray for friends, family, neighbors, people you don't even know, that through all this pain and suffering they can see the loving hand of God.

I hope this has been articulate... my mind is still reeling, trying to work through all of this, trying to know what to do. But ultimately, all I can do is trust in the One who is bigger, mightier, and more powerful than any tornado.

Intellectual...ness....

2011-04-06T19:35:00.000-05:00

At the beginning of March, I joined my family in attending the Mid-South Home School Conference in Memphis, TN. I mostly ended up in sessions dealing with Christian Classical Education (CCE), and I must admit I was...enthralled. This is the education I wish I'd had growing up! This is the education I want my kids to have! The Great Books! Latin and logic! Greek and grammar! Rhetoric! Virtue! The Christian Intellectual!

"But I didn't have that education, so is it too late?" That was the question I posed to several speakers, and they all agreed that no, it's not too late. (Yey!)

The first speaker suggested that I look up the Encyclopedia Britannica's Great Books of the Western World and start reading through them. Great idea, until I realized how expansive and expensive (almost $1000!) that set actually is! And while I can't say any of the works are necessarily obscure, many of them--especially the earlier ones--are dense and overwhelming. I could totally see myself getting discouraged early on and quitting the project without looking back.

A second presenter told me to brush up on my Latin skills, more or less. I took Latin for a year(ish) in high school, but laid it aside in favor of French in college. I don't regret taking French, but I do regret ceasing my Latin studies. So I'm picking it up again! I bought Wheelock's Latin: The Classic Introductory Latin Course yesterday at Books-A-Million and spent a while this afternoon downloading other resources from the website. I'm starting from the ground up--it's been nine years since I've touched it!

Another speaker gave me a more reasonable--though still large--goal than Great Books. This speaker was Susan Wise Bauer, and after the first lecture I texted this to Trevvor: "I think I've found a new academic hero." (She actually reminded me in a softened, Christian way of one of the professors I admired from my liberal arts program in college.) She has written two books about educating classically in a Christian home. The first is directed at parents teaching their children (The Well-Trained Mind) and the second is directed at adults who, like me, wish they'd had a classical education but haven't. It's called The Well-Educated Mind, and I'm kind of in love with it.

The first part deals with how to read--whether you need to work on mechanics and/or vocabulary (I'm ordering Vocabulary from Classical Roots just for fun), how to keep a reading journal, and what questions you need to ask yourself as you go along. It suggests approaching a book in three stages that mirror the stages of the trivium (grammar, logic, & rhetoric): first you try to understand a book's basic structure and argument, then you evaluate the book's assertions, and last you form an opinion about the book's ideas (p. 41).

The second part is five lists of selected books that have a lot of overlap with Great Books of the Western World. The five categories are the novel, autobiography/memoir, history, drama, and poetry. Each list is meant to be read in chronologically so that you can build upon ideas in the same order as the people who wrote them. (In case you're wondering, the first book on the novel list is Don Quixote.)

So that's my plan! I don't intend on becoming the next Augustine or anything, but I do feel I could improve and develop my God-given ability to think--to taste, swallow, and either digest or reject ideas as I cross paths with them according to whether or not they are in accordance with God's Truth.

"So... now what are you going to do?"

2011-04-04T06:30:00.000-05:00

I've gotten this question a lot since we announced our plans to move from Huntsville, where I was home-schooling my brother, to Birmingham. People seem to think that now that I'm not teaching Chris anymore I won't have anything to "do" in my new home. Sometimes the question has even been framed as, "So, will you get a job now?" in that assuming sort of tone that really thinks the answer will (or should) be "yes." Individually these questions were innocent enough, asked out of curiosity in most cases and concern in others.

But they added up. And they revealed a subtle (and usually unintentional) cultural mind-set about what exactly the worth is deemed to be of a stay-at-home-wife... with no kids: not very high.

I'll be the first to admit that there are hours that aren't filled to the brim with productivity. In fact, last Wednesday I didn't do much at all. I needed to rest... so I did. Isn't that wonderful? Because my husband allows me to stay at home, I don't have to be moving 90 miles a minute. I don't have to be the do-it-all Super-Woman of feminists' dreams. I can just sit down and rest!

The idea that visible, tangible results are the only measure of the worth of someone's day is false. I am not a machine. Spending time with God, improving my mind through learning and self-education... these are two things that don't produce such results, yet I would argue that they are two of the most important habits that can be developed in my life.

Now--as I wait for children--is the ideal time to develop skills and grow in my knowledge in areas like cooking, decorating, gardening, sewing and other handicrafts, using herbs, financial management, music, foreign language, and reading. (Not to mention basic organization skills... sheesh. I need a LOT of work in that area.) Some days I am overwhelmed by all the things I want to learn about that I despair over not having enough time.
And I haven't even mentioned house-work yet. Or meal planning and preparation. Much less volunteering my time in the community, if the opportunity and occasion arises.

So what am I going to do now? Well, besides all the projects we're doing in the new house, I am going to...

spend more time in prayer and worship.
learn to order my day so that I can serve my God and my husband.
develop weekly meal plans and actually start cooking real dinners again.
tackle the stuff-monster and the dirt-dragon that like to hang around.
take violin lessons again as well as continue my visits to Curves.
begin a Great Books reading course and pick up my Latin studies from high school.
continue my attempts at sewing and crocheting.
start a kitchen garden and learn how to use herbs.
kick my blog back into action.

That's what I'm going to do, and I don't need a paycheck to make it worth my while.

Fostering a Kitty!

2011-04-01T12:00:00.001-05:00

As if moving isn't crazy enough, we have also taken in a young feline mamma-to-be! I picked her up on Tuesday from someone who had found her wandering around her house but couldn't keep her. I figured that while I'm waiting to care for foster kids or for babies of my own, I can help her care for hers!

We haven't named her yet. I'm trying not to get too attached, because we may not be able to keep her forever. We're just calling her "Mama Kitty," trying to keep it simple. She's a sweetheart, very accepting of caresses and even of grooming. I took her to the vet on Wednesday and he said that she would probably deliver in a couple of weeks. I've been studying cat pregnancy, labor, and newborn kitten care rather frantically.... I know they're usually fine on their own, but I'll feel better knowing that I'm prepared.

Maggie and Nina aren't sure what to think of this third brown tabby. They pretty consistently stand watch over her door, sniffing and pawing at it. We've kept her separated in case she was sick and so they can have some time to adjust to the presence of a third cat.

If any of you have ever had a mamma kitty, could you pass along some tips or resources??

We're Home!

2011-03-30T11:46:00.001-05:00

On March 11, we closed on the house from a few posts down. The next afternoon, we took possession. What an adventure! We've been sleeping on an air-mattress since then and eating on a folding table. Stuff is piled in random nooks and crannies, waiting for us to bring the shelves and drawers that would normally store it. But I'm making myself wait for the full move-in until we've completed a few projects. (What I miss having near the most are my books, though I did bring all my Jane Austens along.)

To date, we've cleaned the house from top to bottom (somehow when it's "your" dirt it's okay, but not when it's someone else's, haha), repainted the basement den, and torn out the walls in the basement pantry. We weren't counting on having to do that last one, but we discovered that the master shower was dripping into the pantry ceiling and walls. Much mold ensued. So Trevvor had fun being a small-scale demolition man for an evening (he discovered some crazy 70's linoleum under the carpet and a dead mouse in the wall), and now we're about to seal the leak in the shower before re-walling the pantry with something a little more water-proof (especially since that's where our laundry hook-up is).

Other projects we'll do before fully moving in are:

Tile the basement
Repaint the master bedroom
Put hardwood/bamboo/laminate floors in the living room, hallway, and master
Add some crown molding in the living room and master

Once we've moved into the main rooms that we use, we'll repaint the two extra bedrooms and re-floor them as well. In the long-run, we'd like to re-do the kitchen walls & floor and take out the wallpaper in the hall bath & just paint it a solid color in order to mute the fun gold-yellow tile.

We'd saved quite a bit more than we needed for our down-payment, and Trevvor and I will be doing all the labor ourselves, but we're trying to be pretty tight-fisted so we can do all these things before furniture and kids come along (though if God decided to send me a baby before we got done, I'd be more than thrilled). Looks like I need to visit "Money Saving Mom" a bit more frequently....

Life Updates

2011-02-28T18:25:00.002-06:00

House: We are set to close on our house (the one I posted about on Feb. 2) on March 11! In less than two weeks, we will be the owners of a WHOLE BUILDING. Wow. We just bought a new (well, "new" to us) dining set today, as we had no stable chairs and needed a china cabinet in which to store our dishes. We plan to "camp-out" in the house for a few weeks while we clean it, paint most of the rooms, and lay tile in the kitchen and the basement den. It's so much easier to do all that stuff before there's a lot of furniture to work around... or so we've heard.

Fertility/Kids: I took Round 5 of Clomid last week. Still at 100mg. I'm staying fairly positive by reminding myself how difficult it would be to move during first trimester exhaustion....

I did contact the Agape social worker in Birmingham yesterday to let her know we were interested in becoming foster parents. She replied today with an application and let me know that training classes could start as early as the end of March! Training would be 10 weeks, and I assume the home-study would also happen during that time. We could be only a few months away from caring for one of God's precious children!

And last but not least....
The other week I went to Curves as usual, only to find over 30 pages from Sports Illustrated's Swimsuit Edition plastered all over the mirror. I immediately felt my face get hot. It was distracting to work out with all those women staring seductively off their pages, especially while realizing how many men would be lusting over the same pictures in their own copies. How many men would fall into the deep pit of s*xual addiction because of these pictures? Almost everyone I know who's struggled with p*rnography began their battle with photos more innocent than these--undergarment advertisements in catalogs, etc.--yet here they were, in public, put up in a business founded by Christians and run by Christians. I just got angrier and angrier, while the women around me chuckled and thought of it as a joke. How could I say anything? I'm already quite an anomaly there (and everywhere else, for that matter), and I didn't want to ruin anybody's fun. So I left.

But I didn't stop thinking about it. I went back on Friday, determined to explain how offensive those images were to me in as loving but firm a way as possible, and they were gone. I was relieved, but I still felt like I needed to pursue the subject. Before I could, I heard people discussing it already. Apparently someone else had quite firmly but also quite unlovingly said how they didn't want to feel pressured to look like those perfectly airbrushed seductresses, especially not while working out, so take them down or else. I threw in my two cents, mentioning how they had been rather offensive on a moral level (though not in those words exactly), and my view was immediately dismissed. I went to the bathroom and started crying. I couldn't help it; it's a very sensitive subject for me. I came out, reminding myself that many people just don't understand the effects those images can and do have on the majority of men (and women, and their families), determined to continue my work-out, but the sweet lady who works there could tell something was wrong, and realized that her words had hurt me. I explained things more fully, and she was truly sorry for it.

I left that night feeling better about the whole thing, but also quite discouraged. If older, Christian women can't see the damage that even soft-core p*rn has done and continues to do to our men, what hope do we have? What do you do in situations like this, when someone offends your morals unintentionally and/or is completely unaware of the sin which they are encouraging?

House Hunt: The Beginning of the End?

2011-02-02T12:08:00.000-06:00

We've looked at about 25 houses since the beginning of the year, and finally, last week, we found one we both wanted. So we prayed, thought, and talked about it, and then went back this past Monday to see it again. We still liked it a lot, so now we're negotiating with our realtor about our offer.

And get this.

The owners are Christians. And home-schoolers. And they have two kitties. They like Jane Austen, Lord of the Rings, and Star Wars. They play some of the same computer games Trevvor played in high school. They have the same dishes as my mom. They have the same clock as my brother... and the list goes on.

All that to say, we were being creepers as we explored their house, but how comforting to know that the current owners share common values and a similar lifestyle with us! It made us want to buy the house even more, possibly seeing these little signs for more than they were... or maybe not. God speaks to us in mysterious ways.

Shady, private backyard

The house is about five minutes away from an awesome shopping center, which will make my life (and my errands) much simpler. It's about 12 minutes away from Trevvor's office without traffic. It's less than an hour and a half from my parents house. And--most exciting--there is a church of Christ just a stone's throw away! I think it's even less than five minutes driving time. But even if that's not the church the Lord wants us to worship with, there are dozens within easy driving distance. (Yey for living in the Bible Belt?)

Their adorable kitties. The gray one let me hold her, but though

the black one was very curious, he was also quite skittish.

We're negotiating with our realtor about the offer right now, and should have one in by the end of the week! They have already offered to help the buyer with closing costs and to cover a one-year warranty on the house. I'm SO excited. I pray that the process will be as smooth as possible, and I'll be sure to keep you posted!

Change is only the beginning of a new adventure...

2011-01-31T11:49:00.001-06:00

On December 15, 2010, I wrote in my prayer journal:

I pray today about Trevvor's work. Bless the work of his hands and may it bring him a measure of fulfillment at the end of each day. Show him what Your work is for him and give him the strength and courage to do it. Teach him to do all that he does for Your glory alone. Let him be content with the job he has if it is Your will for him. Show me how I can best help and support him in this area, Father.

The next day, I asked for the same things, adding:

If this job is Your will for him, let him find fulfillment, contentment, and even enjoyment in it. If it is not Your will, then direct him to where You want him to be at the proper time.

I need to stop being surprised when God answers prayers in BIG ways, because about two weeks later, Trevvor got a call from PricewaterhouseCoopers, the Big 4 international accounting firm that he'd interned for in Birmingham last spring.

They wanted to offer him a position as a first year associate, starting ASAP.

Last spring he had an opportunity to have a position there starting this coming fall, but first he would need to do a 12-month masters' degree program in tax accounting and then sit for the CPA exam. He didn't relish the idea of going straight back to school, and wanted to try management accounting for a while (which he's been doing since last summer here in Huntsville), so he turned down the position at that time.

But apparently things have changed, both on their side and ours. On our side, Trevvor was realizing that he enjoyed tax accounting much more than management accounting. On their side, they needed an incoming associate with or without a masters' degree and a CPA. Trevvor was their first choice, despite not having either of these.

Long story short, a few days after the initial call, Trevvor accepted the position. Since then, we've kept busy by interviewing (and now training) replacements for his position at my dad's company and traveling the hour and a half to Birmingham once a week to look at houses.

It has certainly been an adjustment, shifting my future plans from a Huntsville local (close to my family and high school friends) to a Birmingham one. To make things more difficult, only two months ago did we place membership at a wonderful church of Christ right down the road from us, and now we'll have to begin the "church search" all over again! *sigh*

But overall, we are sure that this is a very positive move (literally and figuratively) for us. Trevvor is thrilled about his upcoming job--which starts February 7, a week from today--and I am so proud of him. I'm mostly excited about buying a house: it will be so wonderful to call a place "home" for more than a year or two! (On the housing note, we think we may have found one we'd like to place an offer on, but we're seeing it for a second time this afternoon before doing so.)

In conclusion, keep us in your prayers as we make this transition. It will be hard for my family, especially since they've been used to having us right down the stairs for the better part of a year now. And buying a house, moving, and being a tax accountant at this time of year can all be stressful things. But with your prayers and support, we can handle it.

The Ultimate House Skirt

2011-01-22T08:00:00.004-06:00

When I went "skirts only" about a year ago, I relegated several of my shorter, comfy skirts to around-the-house-wear. In the summer this was fine, but as things started cooling off a bit, I retired the skirts to the back of the drawer in favor of sweatpants... which don't seem nearly as comfortable now that I know what a stretchy cotton skirt is like. What to do??

I went hunting around all of the modesty websites on my list (above), but couldn't find a very long--yet comfortable--skirt. About this time, Michal at Kosher Casual emailed me to see if I'd check out their site and--if I was interested--order (as a gift!) one of their products to review on here. I replied that I was looking for a house skirt, and Michal knew just what to send my way!

The Long Panel Skirt!

I love it. I've had it for about two weeks now, and I've worn it and washed it many times already. It's one-size-fits-all (drawstrings = awesome) and comes to my ankles. It definitely keeps my legs nice and toasty without the constricting nature of pants.

They were very prompt with the shipping, and I got it much more quickly than I would have expected given that they're located in Israel. They even included a little piece of Israeli candy. :)

And so, this is my shameless plug for Kosher Casual. What can I say? I really love my new skirt.

It isn't a Christmas post, but....

2010-12-24T13:51:00.000-06:00

I received this email from a lady doing a study on attitudes towards motherhood, and she's focusing in on mothers who are part of conservative Christian groups. I'll post her email here, and if any of you mammas are interested, send her an email (just change "(at)" to "@" and "(dot)" to ".").

"Hello there,

For my doctoral dissertation in psychology at the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology, I'm writing about how attitudes toward motherhood change as women move from secular society or modern religious communities to more traditional, conservative ones. Part of what interests me in this topic is bringing respectful inquiry to the often-reviled community of conservative religious communities. I think the modern world has a great deal to learn from conservative women, especially with regard to motherhood and family.

I would love to interview some conservative Christians who are mothers. I am looking for women who joined a conservative religious group after a modern or secular upbringing to talk about how their attitudes have changed. It will be all very relaxed and confidential. I am doing phone and Skype interviews. I'm looking for women with children still at home from the born-again, Quiverfull, evangelical Protestant, fundamentalist, or Baptist communities, who joined this community as an adult. (and if I'm missing your community that advocates Biblical patriarchy, it was a simple mistake. Please let me know so I'll include you in the study!)

Could you please pass this on to women you think would be interested, or contact me if you yourself are interested? I'm so curious to hear what they/you will say.

For research purposes, it would be great if you would contact me at this email address: motheringstudy(at)gmail(dot)com

Thank you so much,
Sophia"

Part I: Children are blessings from God... all the time.

2010-12-16T15:51:00.000-06:00

When people find out we don't use birth control not only because we're ready for kids but because we're morally opposed to it, we get some strange and varied responses. This doesn't surprise me given that two years ago--when I was taking the Pill myself--I would have been slightly offended if someone made that statement, no matter how gently it was worded. I thought the Duggars were crazy. Families were huge if they had more than four children. I was sure the Pope was dead wrong on the birth control issue (ironically, now it's one of the few things he and I would agree upon).

But things change.

I came to realize that when I said, "Sure, babies are a blessing from God," I would silently add, But not all the time. I had taken a disturbingly pro-choice stance on the issue, though I never would have admitted it. Babies are a blessing from God... if they're wanted. Sounds a whole lot like "Every child a wanted child," no?

Recently as I was clearing out my laptop's "My Documents" folder, I discovered a saved AIM conversation with Trevvor that occurred while I was studying in England in 2007. We were talking about our upcoming engagement and eventual marriage. And then, right in the middle of discussing the kind of family car we wanted to drive (he wanted a station wagon; I wanted a mini-van--we got the station wagon last summer), the conversation took this turn....

sncasto87: we're gonna have BABIES
futbolcampo: i'm still not quite sure how that will all work, but if you say so
sncasto87: well, we'll just cross that bridge when we come to it
futbolcampo: alright, sounds good
sncasto87: i'm not having a kid until we're 25 if i have anything to say in the matter
sncasto87: i'll make my womb refuse to reproduce
sncasto87: so it's a long way off, bud.
sncasto87: yey for BIRTH CONTROL.

Out of one side of my mouth, I was so excited about being the future mother of Trevvor's children... yet I wanted to graduate from college. And I wanted to go to grad school. And I wanted to work for a couple of years. And wouldn't it be nice if we were married for a while first, and maybe even settled in a house? Because I already knew that once I had babies I would stay at home--I'd always known that--but I wanted to have a "life" first. So I took the Pill, making my womb incapable of reproducing, just as I said I would. In my mind, babies wouldn't be a blessing at that time because I had things on my agenda I wanted to get done first. Never mind that God might have a different plan for me, and if that plan included babies then I was going against His will by taking birth control: babies were not an acceptable option and I would take measures to ensure that He didn't "bless" me with them.

Put in those terms, it sounds absurd, does it not?

If only I'd known how badly I would desire children three years later... and that I would struggle to have them... and be heartbroken. And this struggle in part thanks to the effects of the Pill I then praised! Irony of ironies.

And so I understand the view that people have of us "full-quiverers," as we're labeled. When I say that we don't believe birth control is biblical (that is to say, you cannot find an example of preventing the conception of a child written in a positive light; rather, you find story after story of children being sought-after blessings), I sometimes get responses like this:

"But what if the mother was raped?"
"But what if the parents aren't married?"
"But what if the mother is a young teenager?"
"But what if they already have many mouths to feed and they can't afford another?"

Though I more often get responses like this:

"But you need to be married for a few years first."
"But you should be done with college at least."
"But you need to have a financially good job."
"But it's best if you buy a house first."
"But student loans need to be paid off before adding the expense."

And on and on go the "reasons" for delaying having children, even when the parents are of age and married, and even when they have a safe place to live and a decent job that pays the necessary bills.

All of these "reasons" for not having children... I've said them myself at one point. But this is the world's view of having children--not God's. With God, children are always a blessing, never a curse--no, not even an "inconvenience." Does this mean the situation is always ideal or just what we want it to be? No. But God's ways are higher than our ways... and this is the topic for the next post.

Songs in the Morning

2010-11-04T13:30:00.000-05:00

We had an emotional morning today as we discussed our family, church, and home. After talking together, I had this song singing in my mind as I fixed Trevvor's lunch and long after he departed for work, so I thought I'd share it with all of you.

The Lord knows we want a baby to raise up in the nurture and admonition of Him. He knows we're searching for a church where we can serve Him. He knows we want a home of our own before too long. He knows we desire an income which doesn't take Trevvor away from his family every day, all day. He knows our hearts desires.
But while we are waiting, He has us in His arms.

"The Five Scariest Things You Can Do This Halloween"

2010-10-31T00:01:00.026-05:00

By Doug Phillips

The fear of the Lord is to hate evil. (Proverbs 8:13)

Our country is in the grip of a fear crisis. The tension because of this fear is almost palpable. There is fear over elections, fear over the economy, and fear over hundreds of other issues ranging from the environment to terrorism.

The one fear that America is missing is a fear of the Lord. As a people, we no longer fear God. Because we do not fear God, we no longer hate evil (Proverbs 8:13).

Instead of hating evil, Americans toy with it. We toy with holidays like Halloween that were conceived in evil and that promote the “cute-ification” of evil, whether that evil takes the form of witchcraft, sorcery, ghoulishness, or some other form of malevolent imagery paraded before our children. We laugh at the very things that the Lord describes as “abominations,” and we find ourselves obsessively fascinated by, and attracted to, all things dark.

Yet we do not fear the Lord.

Those who “hate evil” are very scary to a secular society that fears man more than God. They are scary because they dare to declare that there are absolute standards by which society must be governed. They are scary because, if they are successful, industries like Hollywood that make billions of dollars by promoting ungodly fear will lose their influence. They are scary because such people will not be swayed by political candidates who use fear as a tool for manipulation.

With this in mind, I offer you the five “scariest” things you can do this Halloween:

The scariest thing you can do this Halloween is to not make light of evil. Halloween was conceived in evil and has remained a celebration that uses children to promote a fascination with darkness and superstitious fear. Simultaneously, it makes light of things that the Bible describes as evil. Stand against such things, and the world will find you very scary indeed. The fear of the Lord makes men turn from evil (Proverbs 16:6).
The scariest thing you can do this Halloween is to not be fearful. The media wants you to be afraid of everything from overpopulation to global warming. The politicians want you to be afraid of the economy and political instability. God wants you to do what is morally right, trust Him completely, and never be gripped by an ungodly spirit of fear. You can place your trust and hope for this nation in the King of Kings. Jesus said: “And I say unto you my friends, Be not afraid of them that kill the body, and after that have no more that they can do. But I will forewarn you whom ye shall fear: Fear him, which after he hath killed hath power to cast into hell; yea, I say unto you, Fear him” (Luke 12:4-5). Believe this, and you will be light to the world.
The scariest thing you can do this Halloween is to completely skip Halloween and remember Reformation Day. It was 493 years ago that Martin Luther nailed his world-changing 95 Theses to the door of the Wittenberg church. These theses included rebukes to ungodly fear and superstition. 501 years ago, sometime near October 31, a baby named John Calvin was conceived who would dedicate his life to eradicating an ungodly fear of superstitious beliefs and proclaiming the gospel of grace. His emphasis on reformation, revival, and the sufficiency of Scripture had such far-reaching implications for nations like the United States that he has been described by Christian and secular scholars alike as the true founding father of America. The Reformers did something that was very scary to the world of their day. They stood against all forms of dark superstitions which grip the minds and souls of men. It was their emphasis on the fear of the Lord and the wisdom of Holy Scripture that was used by God to liberate untold numbers of men and women. But to remember the Reformers instead of Halloween is very scary to the world. “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom” (Proverbs 9:10).
The scariest thing you can do this Halloween is to refuse to watch or allow your children to watch any of the toxic Halloween and horror films emerging from Hollywood. America’s fascination with ungodly fear has made horror the most popular and fastest-growing film genre amoung youth. When parents allow their children to toy with this genre, they promote ungodly fear, and they contribute to the fear-factories in Hollywood that prey upon the youth of our culture. Say “no” to Hollywood horror and you will be dangerously scary to the media elite. “Fear ye not me? saith the Lord: will ye not tremble at my presence....?” (Jeremiah 5:22).
The scariest thing you can do this Halloween is to get on your knees as a mother and father and pray that the Lord will send you many, children who will fear God, not man — children who will especially shun the glorification of witchcraft, the bondage of ungodly fear, and the “cute-ification” of evil that is promoted through holidays like Halloween. Cultures that toy with evil end up being cultures of death. The Christian response is to be a people of life. That means babies. It means fearing God by honoring His command to “be fruitful and multiply.” It means remembering that the Scripture describes children as a “blessing” and a “reward.” Raise children that fear God more than man, and that will be answer enough to our Halloween- and darkness-obsessed culture; for if you trust God over your womb and commit your children to a holy education, you will be very scary to the modern world. “Come, my children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the Lord” (Psalm 34:11).

Note: I'm sure most of you saw this when he sent the email out last week, but for those of you who hadn't, I figured it was good enough to repost.

Fertility.

2010-10-26T13:58:00.000-05:00

I am trusting the Lord with my fertility.

But I'm learning that that means more than simply going off birth control and expecting God to send us a baby ASAP. For some of us, it means waiting. And waiting. And praying, then more waiting. And that is hard. I'm not waiting very patiently. I'm spiritually tapping my foot and thinking, "All right, Father. I did my part. Now You do Yours!"

I didn't expect we'd conceive in the first few months. I've always known there was something a little off with my fertility. So this past spring I had some blood work done, which discovered I have hypothyroidism, which means my thyroid under-produces hormones. So I went on medication, assuming that would fix the problem, normalize my body, and lead to the ability to conceive. Yet over half a year later, there has still been no unaided ovulation.

To realize that my body is broken and not functioning healthily is quite a downer, to put it lightly. I don't ovulate. Without medical assistance, at least at this point in time, I can't conceive a child. Conception is so tightly tied into a woman's identity--my identity--that this fact hit me pretty hard, and it's something I struggle with every day.

Those dark questions pop into my mind unbidden, "Does God not think I'm good enough to be a mother?" "Is this punishment for a sin in my past?" "Don't I deserve a baby--why won't He give me one?" Questions such as these lead only to bitterness and depression, and so I attempt to smother them before they can grow... but with every negative test and every lab result which shows no ovulation has occurred, they return all too quickly.

But then I remind myself that the Lord knows infinitely more and better than I do; He loves me, and He will do what is best for me (even if I can't understand it right now).

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope" (Jeremiah 29:11).

Stories like Hannah's in 1 Samuel 1 give me encouragement: God hears the prayers of us barren women. I am not alone in my struggle; the wives of the great patriarchs of Israel--Sarah, Rebekah, and Rachel--were barren also. According to Proverbs, the barren womb will never say "enough" (30:16). The psalmist says that

"He grants the barren woman a home, / Like a joyful mother of children" (Psalm 113:9).

Barrenness is not uncommon among God's people. I am not unloved; I am not less worthy than others who bear children; I am not being punished. Thus far it has simply not been in God's plan for me to bear children.

So I have gone off of birth control and prayed for babies, for the Lord to open my womb. But thanks to medical advances of late, not only can we prevent conception, we can also encourage or even cause it. So for us the question became, "How far are we willing to go to medically encourage conception?"

With this ever in mind, I have been taking Clomid--which is used to induce ovulation--for two months now. We prayed about this for many weeks before deciding to use it, wondering if we were "going too far" to mess with my fertility. God spoke through some close friends who reminded me that I need to do what I can to make my body healthy and able to bear children. Not ovulating is not healthy whether you're trying to conceive or not! Whether or not conception occurs is still completely in the Lord's hands, but if He chooses to cause it to happen, my body will be ready.

In closing, I ask all of you to please pray for Trevvor and I, this week especially. Clomid has some rough side-effects, especially moodiness and crankiness (Trevvor's had to put up with a lot these past months). And, more importantly, at some point in the next few days ovulation will occur, and if it is God's plan, we will be blessed with one of His greatest blessings.

The New Vision Forum--with wishlists!

2010-10-24T13:00:00.018-05:00

Anyone who knows me knows I love to make lists. Of everything. To do lists, to buy lists, to read lists, to call lists... lists of goals, lists of projects, lists of everything.

Well, the new Vision Forum has a list. Now, you can add items you want but cannot yet buy to your wish-list!! Boy, I'm excited. I think I added about 50 items to mine the other night after I got the latest catalog! Here's my Wish List.

Also, this is something we already have and highly, highly recommend getting:

This conference was so incredibly rich in information, scriptural and cultural. These CDs (and we're still in the process of listening to sessions we couldn't attend) are preparing us to fight for life and defend our biblical stand on incredibly relevant issues in our society, issues that will define our generation.

Also, VF has added hundreds of new products to their inventory (many of which are currently on sale!) and, as a result, are discontinuing many items as well (many of which are also on sale). Do give their new site a visit!

P.S. If you access Vision Forum from one of my links, I will be able to earn commissions on your purchase. I feel selfish saying that, but if you're planning on buying something anyway, you can help me by using my links to get to the site! ;)

The Bestest Best Birthday

2010-10-22T08:00:00.001-05:00

This weekend was one of the best weekends I've had in recent memory. My darling, wonderful husband whisked me away for my birthday to a rustic cabin near De Soto State Park in Alabama.

Since we're living with my family, we don't get as much "alone time" as we used to. So instead of a party, we decided what we needed was just some simple time together.

We left early on Saturday morning without me having any idea of where we were headed. We stopped at a garage sale or two along the way before arriving at De Soto. Now, I love De Soto. (My friend and I used to go there when we were growing up to hike and play in the river.) So De Soto is where he brought me.

We spent the midday taking a laid-back hike on some easy trails around the campground before eating a late lunch at the Lodge. Then we headed to the cabin, which was part of Bear Creek Cabins in Fort Payne. There are 5 cabins on the property (we stayed in #4) which are built to re-create the 1800s Little House in the Big Woods feel.

It was essentially all one room; the only room with a door was the bathroom. The kitchen/dining area was on one side of the stairs, and the sitting area was on the other. Up the stairs was the loft, in which the bedroom could be found.

I loved its simplicity and size. If we knew that--for whatever reason--we would never have children, we would want to live in a cabin just like that. But we are certainly praying for many children, so we may have to enlarge the floor-plan just a bit. ;)

We had a quiet Saturday evening resting and cooking and reading... and watching "Star Trek: The Original Series." I'm quite a nerd, really, and so while I highly doubt we'll let our kids watch ST, I enjoyed reliving a few memories with Captain Kirk and his posse of space cowboys.

Trevvor had planned all the meals for us: for dinners we had some hearty chili; sandwiches for lunches (which we actually didn't end up eating); Sunday's breakfast was blackberry pancakes and turkey bacon; and Monday's breakfast was French toast and more turkey bacon. We also had several snacks and of course cake! He made me a coconut cake and added some homemade coconut fudge to go along with it. Isn't he incredible?? We also found our favorite apple juice (Martinelli's) and brought it and the red wine that my French host-mother had sent me last year along for some special drinks. All in all, the menu was perfect.

Sunday we got up about 7:30, and after a lazy morning, we went hiking in Little River Canyon, which was almost in our backyard. At first we just stopped and took pictures at overlooks, and then we saw a sign for a trail that went the 1/10 mile into the canyon.

It was incredibly steep and quite rocky, but with Trevvor's aid I made it all the way down in one piece. We stayed down there about an hour, wading in the river (quite an adventure in a skirt), clambering on rocks, taking pictures, and just enjoying God's creation.

That Sunday evening was much the same as the one before, except we traded "Star Trek" in for "Homestead Blessings: Canning" and "Soap Making." It seemed fitting to learn pioneering skills during our cabin stint. :)

Monday was my birthday, and unfortunately also check-out day. We left our sweet cabin about 11:15 and headed to Mentone, AL, where Trevvor had found some quaint and artsy lunch locales. We ended up eating at The Wildflower Cafe, which serves only natural and organic foods (apparently Mentone is an artist community). We both enjoyed our meals; Trevvor ate a Greek salad and I had an interesting but tasty stir-fry. When the owner found out it was my birthday, she gave me a free piece of carrot cake!

After stopping at a post office in Henager to mail off some post-cards, we drove home. Mom and Chris surprised me with another cake, some flowers, a balloon, and cards. (Of course, my main gift from my family and Trevvor was the sewing machine, which I am LOVING, by the way.)

Dad came home a bit later and the family made steak and potatoes while Trevvor and I took a walk, savoring the last minutes of our "vacation."

It surely was the bestest best birthday, don't you think?

"She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms."

2010-10-20T19:01:00.000-05:00

I am a weak 23 year old woman. I've never been involved in sports (I was a musician--didn't want to break an arm or finger). I think I worked out a handful of times in high school at the local YMCA, and a few more times off and on in college. I asked Trevvor to train me and keep me on track, but though he valiantly tried, he found in me a wimpy pupil.

But now, for a whole month, I've worked out three times per week at a nearby Curves.

And I'm seeing results! In the past month, I lost over five pounds in fat mass and gained some pounds in muscle mass!

My motivations are clear and ever-present:

I want my body and my health to bring glory to God
I want my physical condition to honor my husband
I want to be able to handle the workload of keeping home and children
I want to be able to keep up with my oh-so-athletic husband
I want to continue to be attractive to my husband as I age
I want to have a more stable emotional life, which is (come to find out) intricately connected to your physical health
I want to be fit and able to give birth to as many children as the Lord blesses us with

There are others, more minor and specific than I'm sure you'd want to read. But the point is, I'm motivated. I'm motivated from the mind, but more importantly I'm motivated from the spirit.

I don't just want to work out to have a "hot body," (though for Trevvor I'm sure that will be a perk); I want to exercise so I can be more like that Proverbs 31 woman, who strengthened her arms for her daily tasks of being a wife, mother, and home-keeper. I want to have the energy to "rise while it is yet night" and prepare for the day!

And so, three times a week, I drive 20 minutes into town and take about 45 minutes to change, exercise, stretch, and change again before making the return 20 minute journey. I don't like leaving the house that often, and I really don't like driving (period), but for the sake of my family, it's worth it.

P.S. Curves is a women-only gym, and its woman-focus is apparent in its very design! It's easy (sort of) to work out there--everything's in a circle and you just go around the circuit twice per work-out. There are also computer chips that you put in each machine and they show you your progress after each session. I love it!

What We've Been Up To

2010-10-07T09:20:00.003-05:00

Poor neglected blog. *pat*pat*

Obviously, I still haven't made good on my promise to write about women's roles in the church. With the lack of internet for over a month and school going on, I haven't been very motivated. It IS coming... someday. ;)

Speaking of school, we began the rest of our subjects after Labor Day. Chris continues to floor me with his skills. I still have to sit right with him and walk him through everything to keep him motivated and on track, but he's easily grasping some science and grammar concepts that I thought we'd have to fight our way through. We also took a field-trip to see the Nina and the Pinta! It was neat going to my first home-school field-trip... as the teacher.

Much of the rest of my time recently has been taken up with sewing! Yes, I'm learning how to sew. I knew how to do a little handwork before, but had no idea how to craft anything larger than a pillow, and certainly was clueless as to the use of a sewing machine. So a little over a month ago I began a beginning sewing class at a local sewing shop. It was once a week for three hours, and I learned tons! At the end of the class, Trevvor and my parents bought me a new sewing machine--a Pfaff Expression 2.0--for both my upcoming birthday and Christmas! It's one of the fancy-smancy computerized ones, though I admit I have a nostalgia for my mom's 35-year-old machine--and even for my great-great-grandmother's treadle machine!

Then this past Tuesday I took a class learning how to make the Nie Nie Skirt. It's a children's skirt, so I'm making it in pink and green as a Christmas gift for a certain little girl I know. ;) I've perfected (somewhat) my French seam and learned how to sew a rolled hem, which I can use on anything! It was a great all-day class, even though I only finished one ruffle! (Gathering takes forever.)

All of this to say: I think I've found my new passion. I absolutely love constructing things with my hands, and since I'm not all that great with a hammer, sewing "seamed" like the perfect alternative! (No pun intended, of course.)

So, sewing's been the upside. However, there's been a downside. On Sunday we put my two fuzzy white babies outside to do their mouse-catching thing. :( Now, you have to understand, these were the two cuddliest kitties I've ever known, especially Scruffy. He was dependent on me; he needed me. And he's ever so comforting to snuggle. But, we got them to be my mom's outside cats, and now that they're fixed and our other cat is updated on her shots... out they had to go. I think I cried four times that day! It was pretty pathetic, but I'd really gotten attached to them. They were my "babies" until God blesses us with a real one, and it's been hard to not have them nearby.

Now that you know what I've been up to, I want to know what you've been doing! What have been the ups and downs for you this month?

"Without Leaving the Others Undone"

2010-09-07T17:07:00.000-05:00

   It's not the first time I've been accused of legalism or of being similar to the Pharisees. I don't really take offense anymore, especially once I realized that if the 19-year-old me could see the 22-year-old me, she would call me a legalist and a Pharisee as well (that is, once she got over the shock of seeing her future self in a prayer veil). But this particular accusation, in the form of a comment on "What Drives Our Search and a List of Topics" kind of struck a chord and made me realize that I needed to write what I'm about to articulate.

What is the Greatest Command?
   Jesus says that we are to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength," and then to "Love your neighbor as yourself" (Mark 12:30-31). In fact, He says that all the Law and the prophets can be summed up in those two principles. The New Testament is filled with similar exhortations directing us to love God and others. 1 Peter 1:22 says to "love one another fervently." In fact, (1st) John tells is in chapter 3 and verse 14 that we can tell whether we are saved our not by how much we love one another: "We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love the brethren. He who does not love his brother abides in death."

   But what does it mean to love God with all my being? What does it mean to love my neighbor as I love myself, if not more? Our culture is deluded into believing that love is a feeling only. But is this all that the Greatest Command is referring to—a feeling only? Are we just supposed to feel love towards God and others, but leave our lives unchanged as a result of this love? Of course not.

Loving God
   Jesus says that if we love Him, we will keep His commands (John 14:15). "Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, 'If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.'" He says in John 8:31-2. As if to make His point further, He says in Matthew 7:21, "Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven." 1 John 2:3-4 says,

Now by this we know that we know Him, if we keep His commandments. He who says, “I know Him,” and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him.

John continues this thought in verse 29, saying, "If you know that He is righteous, you know that everyone who practices righteousness is born of Him."

Much of the book of James directly addresses this issue. Let's look at chapter 1, verses 22-25:

But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror; for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was. But he who looks into the perfect law of liberty and continues in it, and is not a forgetful hearer but a doer of the work, this one will be blessed in what he does.

James continues this in chapter 2, beginning in verse 14: "What does it profit, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can faith save him?" James answers his own question in verses 18-19:

But someone will say, “You have faith, and I have works.” Show me your faith without your works, and I will show you my faith by my works. 19 You believe that there is one God. You do well. Even the demons believe—and tremble!

He sums it up by writing that "For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also" (verse 26).

   Also, Paul writes in Romans 2:13 that "for not the hearers of the law are just in the sight of God, but the doers of the law will be justified...."

   These verses and many others establish that if we love our God and Savior, we will do what He commands. These commands are found throughout the New Testament: every book and every chapter and every verse contains commands, examples and principles that are meant to be applied to our lives. On our own, we could never gravitate towards righteousness; it is only by the grace of God that we even desire to live holy lives, much less that we are able to move towards holiness.

   Keeping these commands will not save me, for I could never keep all of them perfectly every moment of the rest of my life. But because I love the Lord, I desire to keep His commands, and pray daily that the Spirit will bring me ever closer to living my life like Christ. Because I love the Lord, keeping these commands is not tiresome or tedious. Because I love the Lord, I desire to keep His commands even when they're counter-cultural, even when they garner me strange looks from passers-by, even when my desire to "continue in His word" puts me at odds with my loved ones—not to mention with the world at large.

   But being at odds with the world is okay, even a cause for rejoicing, for we read in 1 John 2:15-16 that we should

...not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world.

In James 4:4, we read a rebuke towards those who claim to be Christians yet who are still swayed by the world's priorities and concerns: "Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God." Paul writes to the Christians in Rome that we should not "...be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God" (12:2). Jesus himself said that we should "be in the world, not of the world" (John 17:11-16, paraphrase). So it is scriptural to say that Christians should be set apart from the world, and that we should not act, speak, look, or think like the world around us. It is scriptural to say that we should not be concerned with the priorities of the world, and neither should we be swayed by its sinking morals.

   This is why I follow God's commands even when they are counter-cultural. It's not too cool to wear a head-covering, but God commanded me to do so in 1 Corinthians 11. It's not popular to say that we should only worship the Lord with our voices, especially in our praise-band obsessed worship scene, but that is the example we find in the New Testament. It's frowned upon to assert that baptism is part of salvation and that it should be done by immersion (whether that means a big bathtub or a river), but that is the command and example we have in Scripture. It's down-right weird that I want to stay home and raise my children myself without sending them off to surrogate parents in day-care and the public school system, but God tells me I am to be a keeper at home in Titus 2 and that my husband and I are to be the primary and constant influences in our children's lives. I love the Lord, and I will follow His commands because of this love.

Loving Others
   This brings me to loving others. The primary way to love others is obvious: to give of ourselves to those who do not have. We are told to physically help those in need. James says that "Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world" (1:27). Christ tells us that when we visit those who are sick or in prison, when we show hospitality to strangers, or clothe those who are naked and give food and water to those who have need of them, we are indeed doing it for Him (Matthew 25:31-46). We see that the early church took care of the needy when they appointed deacons to care for the widows in the church in Acts 6. We should follow these commands and examples today in Christ's name, or else our faith "is dead," according to James.

   Another way to love others is not to sin against them. Paul says in Romans 13:10 that “Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.” He had just listed many of the Old Testament commandments such as not committing adultery, murdering, or stealing. Obviously, we should not do evil to anyone.

   Few Christians would argue with these aspects of loving others. (Though, unfortunately, all too few Christians practice what they preach in these matters—but that’s another post!) However, many Christians would take issue with loving others in day-to-day ways like not dressing in a way that will cause a brother to lust. They would scoff at the idea of not imbibing the world's media for the sake of those new or weak Christians that we might be influencing (not to mention the influence said media might have on ourselves). There are many other such examples, yet in the name of "Christian liberty," concern for our brothers and sisters and the example we are setting for the world is forsaken. Christ warns us that

...It is impossible that no offenses should come, but woe to him through whom they do come! It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were thrown into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones. (Luke 17:1-2)

In Conclusion
Some may argue that by being nitpicky about “little” commandments like wearing a head-covering and being a keeper at home causes me to miss the bigger picture of Christianity. It is true that it is all too easy to get concerned with looking through a microscope at our faith that we forget to look up at the heavens. But it is also true that it is all too easy to forget to check those “little” areas of our lives in favor of just feeling love towards God and others.

My friend Mrs. Paranuk over at Pursuing Titus 2 was right to point her readers towards Matthew 23:23-4, where Jesus is rebuking the Pharisees for tithing even their spices yet missing the point of the Law, which points towards loving God and loving others. Christ says,

Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faith. These you ought to have done, without leaving the others undone. Blind guides, who strain out a gnat and swallow a camel! (Emphasis mine)

Is Jesus saying that the Pharisees were wrong in trying to observe God’s commands so closely, and that they should stop? No! He affirmed their action—“without leaving the others (i.e., the little things) undone”—while rebuking their motive. They were too busy looking through that microscope and forgetting that the point of the law was to help the Jews love the Lord and love each other.

This applies to us today as well. It is not wrong to be concerned with obeying even “insignificant” commands like wearing a head-covering as long as we don’t forget why we are doing it: because we love the Lord. It is not wrong to be concerned with appearance as far as modesty is concerned as long as we don’t forget why we are worried about it in the first place: because we love our brothers, and we don’t want them to stumble.

In this the children of God and the children of the devil are manifest: Whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is he who does not love his brother. (1 John 3:10)

Our First Weeks of School!

2010-09-02T09:15:00.000-05:00

Whew! I have a whole new respect for you home-schooling mothers out there in the blogosphere. How in the world do you find time to blog?? I only have one student and we haven't even started all of our courses yet, but the last thing on my mind these days is posting. And when it has been on my mind, our internet's been down. Even now I'm typing this in Notepad hoping that Trevvor can post it for me at work tomorrow--yey flashdrives!

As I've posted before, this year I am the primary teacher of my 14 year old brother. It's his first year of high school, and my mom asked me to do it (along with helping out around the property) in lieu of rent. Of course I accepted (and not just for the "free" living space either)! So all summer I've been making out four-year plans in Excel, pouring over curriculum catelogues in print and online, searching for CDs and books on Ebay, hoping I could remember my algrebra, and most of all, praying that Christopher would be willing to learn from me.

Chris isn't exactly a school-loving kid; he much prefers taking things apart and driving any vehical he can get his hands on (mostly the tractor at this point). In contrast to my reading-while-I-walk self, he has little love of books (which we're working on, trust me). Our learning styles are incredibly different, and as all siblings do, we've had our share of conflicts over the years. So I was worried that he would resent me teaching him, that he would fight me in learning, that every day would be a struggle for academic survival.

Boy, have I been pleasantly surprised.

Yes, we've had better days than others, but those "better days" have vastly outweighed the "others" thus far. We've had a blast, which is especially surprising when you know that all we've been doing is Bible and not one but TWO lessons of math each day! He even told me last week that he was having "the time of his life" doing math with me! I was floored.

We start each morning with a prayer and the pledge, followed by learning two memory verses (one for the week and one for the month) and reading an inspiring quote. Then we listen to two chapters of the Bible on CD while reading along and answer some objective questions using Balancing the Sword: Volume I. He really seems to be enjoying that, and often asks if we can listen to another chapter!

Next we begin math. He's technically doing Saxon Algebra I this year, but we're playing a little catch up and finishing his pre-algebra Teaching Textbook first (thus the two lessons a day). Now, Chris and math are mortal enemies, so I was somewhat dreading the experience of trying to force-feed it to him. But I was amazed both at his mathematical skill as well as his (more often than not) willingness to learn and work the problems. I think my extra-cool graphing calculator has helped, haha, though I'm attempting to teach him how to use it as an aid rather than rely on it. Some days he's more independent than others, which is nice as I can read a good book (right now I'm reading A Virtuous Woman by Ruth Mast) while he works the problems, making sure I'm still available to answer questions.

After the first lesson, we have a half-hour to an hour for lunch, depending on the time of day and what our afternoon holds (not to mention whether or not we've already taken any imprompteau breaks thus far--Chris has a habit of thinking of random things he needs to do during school). Then we go back and do the second lesson, as well as a few stretches and calisthenics, and that's been our day!

This week we've added Exploring Creation with Physical Science to the mix, and that's been a bit of a challenge for both of us. Chris thrives on routine, so getting used to this addition has been somewhat difficult for him, but he's being a good sport, and I'm phsyching him up for the home-labs that are coming up. Like I said, he's EXTREMELY hands-on (and I'm extremely not), so we're trying to strike a textbook/project balance.

Our school year "officially" starts the day after Labor Day, so that's when we'll go down to only one math lesson each day and begin the other few subjects. I'll be adding geography, literature, grammar/vocabulary/spelling, and some as-we-have-time electives, like P.E., typing, mechanics, and--believe it or not--farming. A family close to our home offers home-school farming classes once a month for a full day. They start in September and go through next August, so he'll get to see a working farm during each season! And the coolest part (for me) is that I get to tag along!

But really, isn't that one of the most wonderful things about home-schooling? You and your children get to learn together, side by side, when you rise up, when you walk along the way, and when you lie down.

What We Believe: Offices in the Local Church

2010-08-12T09:25:00.004-05:00

My next post was going to be concerning women's roles in the church, but I realized that before I could discuss that topic effectively, I needed to lay out what the Bible says about church leadership and organization and then move on to women's roles within that structure.

We believe that the Bible provides very specific instructions concerning the structure of the local church.

The plan for church organization is really quite simple as laid out in Scripture, but throughout the two millennia since its founding, fallible men have made it more and more complicated. Men have developed more "efficient" extra-church systems like synods, conferences, councils, presbyteries, general assemblies, etc. Complicated intra-church systems have been devised as well, confusing the roles of pastors/elders, ministers/deacons, evangelists/preachers, and adding new official positions and titles to the church that never existed in Scripture, many of which come from running a church like a business instead of a family.

But what does Scripture really say about church organization? In this article, I will only examine intra-church organization (that is, the offices of the local church) and tackle extra-church organization in a separate post.

Christ: The Head of the Church

Christ is the only head of His church. We see this in:

· Colossians 1:18 - "And He is the head of the body, the church, who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in all things He may have the preeminence."

· Ephesians 1:22-23 - "And He put all things under His feet, and gave Him to be head over all things to the church, which is His body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all."

· Matthew 28:18 - "And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth."

There is a lot more to be said about even this simple point, but that will be a post of its own someday. If you'd like to see it sooner rather than later, let me know.

Elders: The Authority in the Local Church

Each local church should be governed by a plurality of qualified shepherds/elders/bishops/overseers/pastors/presbyters. Out of familiarity, I will simply say “elder,” but know that this term includes all the others listed above and each of those terms can be found in Scripture and refer to the same office.

What does an elder do?

An elder guides the church and is responsible for the souls of the flock.

· Hebrews 13:17 – “Obey those who rule over you, and be submissive, for they watch out for your souls as those who must give account. Let them do so with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for you.”

· I Peter 5:1-3 – “The elders who are among you I exhort, I who am a fellow elder and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, and also a partaker of the glory that will be revealed: Shepherd the flock of God which is among you, serving as overseers, not by compulsion but willingly, not for dishonest gain but eagerly, nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock; and when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that does not fade away.”

· Acts 20:1 and 28 – “From Miletus he sent to Ephesus and called for the elders of the church…. Therefore take heed to yourselves and to all the flock, among which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to shepherd the church of God which He purchased with His own blood.”

An elder has the authority to rebuke false teachers.

· Titus 1:9-14 – “…holding fast the faithful word as he has been taught, that he may be able, by sound doctrine, both to exhort and convict those who contradict. For there are many insubordinate, both idle talkers and deceivers, especially those of the circumcision, whose mouths must be stopped, who subvert whole households, teaching things which they ought not, for the sake of dishonest gain…. This testimony is true. Therefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith, not giving heed to Jewish fables and commandments of men who turn from the truth.”

An elder is to be respected and honored amongst the congregation.

· I Thessalonians 5:12-14 – “And we urge you, brethren, to recognize those who labor among you, and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, and to esteem them very highly in love for their work’s sake. Be at peace among yourselves.”

· I Timothy 5:17, 19 – “Let the elders who rule well be counted worthy of double honor, especially those who labor in the word and doctrine…. Do not receive an accusation against an elder except from two or three witnesses.”

An elder has the authority to invoke the healing power of the Holy Spirit.

· James 5:14 – “Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of Lord.”

Who can be an elder?

There are two main passages on the qualifications of elders which literally list out the habits and character traits that must be present if a man is to be considered for the office of an elder. Instead of re-listing them, I’ll just post the passages:

· Titus 1:5-9 – “For this reason I left you in Crete, that you should set in order the things that are lacking, and appoint elders in every city as I commanded you—if a man is blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of dissipation or insubordination. For a bishop must be blameless, as a steward of God, not self-willed, not quick tempered, not given to wine, not violent, not greedy for money, but hospitable, a lover of what is good, sober-minded, just, holy, self-controlled, holding fast to the faithful word as he has been taught, that he may be able, by sound doctrine, both to exhort and convict those who contradict.”

· I Tim. 3:2-7 – “This is a good saying: If a man desires the position of a bishop*, he desires a good work. A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, temperate, sober-minded, of good behavior, hospitable, able to teach; not given to wine, not violent, not greedy for money, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not covetous; one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence (for if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?); not a novice, lest being puffed up with pride he fall into the same condemnation as the devil. Moreover he must have a good testimony among those who are outside, lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.”
* Literally overseer

Conclusion

So we can see that the elders are “in charge,” so to speak, of the local congregation, under the headship of Christ, who is the head of the universal church. They are appointed by other elders (Acts 14:23; Titus 1:5) or—if there are no elders yet in the church—by the congregation according to the guidelines set out in I Tim. 3:27 and Titus 1:5-9.

We can also see from the use of the plural “elders” (or other term) in most of the verses above, that unlike many man-made systems, for each church there is a plurality of elders rather than a plurality of churches to one elder.

Some of the confusion about this office is due to the multiple terms used for it, but we can see from the verses above that each of the terms listed in the opening paragraph of this section refer to the office of “elder.”

Lastly, I found this website to be helpful in expounding upon some of the questions I don’t have the room or the time to do here: http://bible.org/article/who-should-run-church-case-plurality-elders. However, I do not agree with his thoughts on the term “pastor,” as it comes from the Greek poimen, which means “shepherd,” which we know is another word for “elder.”

Deacons: The Appointed Servants of the Local Church

Each local church should be served by qualified deacons/ministers.

What does a deacon do?

A deacon serves the local congregation in various capacities, most notably in ministering to the needy of the church.

· Acts 6:1-6 – “Now in those days, when the number of the disciples was multiplying, there arose a complaint against the Hebrews by the Hellenists, because their widows were neglected in the daily distribution. Then the twelve summoned the multitude of the disciples and said, “It is not desirable that we should leave the word of God and serve tables. Therefore, brethren, seek out from among you seven men of good reputation, full of the Holy Spirit and wisdom, whom we may appoint over this business; but we will give ourselves continually to prayer and to the ministry of the word.” And the saying pleased the whole multitude. And the chose Stephen, a man full of faith and the Holy Spirit, and Philip, Prochorus, Nicanor, Timon, Parmenas, and Nicolas, a proselyte from Antioch, whom they set before the apostles; and when they had prayed, they laid hands on them.”

Who can be a deacon?

The qualifications of deacons are laid out in the following passage, and are fairly self-explanatory.

· I Timothy 3:8-12 – Likewise deacons must be reverent, not double-tongued, not given to much wine, not greedy for money, holding the mystery of the faith with a pure conscience. But let these also first be tested; then let them serve as deacons, being found blameless. Likewise, their wives must be reverent, not slanderers, temperate, faithful in all things. Let deacons be the husband of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well. For those who have served well as deacons obtain for themselves a good standing and great boldness in the faith which is in Christ Jesus.

Conclusion

Deacons are men who serve the church in an official, appointed capacity. They must be men of good reputation and spiritually strong in order to fill this office. They are chosen by the congregation and appointed by the elders.

Other words that can be used for deacon are "servant" and "minister," all of which come from the Greek diakonos.

It is generally understood that new, young congregations do not have to have deacons right away, as there are usually not enough qualified men to fill both offices. In this case, elders should be appointed as soon as possible, and deacons appointed as there is need (not to mention qualified men).

Other Church Titles

We only have the scriptural authority to have very specific church offices (elders and deacons), and we are limited to what we can use as titles for the offices by Scripture as well. (Our words are obviously in English, but the meaning should translate from the Greek, and if the meaning is different, then that word should not be used.)

This is why I do not believe an office such as “lay leader” should exist. Everyone should participate to their fullest ability in the church under the elders’ leadership—not the leadership of a layman.

Also, using the term “father” as a title in a spiritual sense to refer to a mortal man is forbidden by Christ himself (Matthew 23:9). Many denominations do this, both Catholic and Protestant, in direct defiance of Christ’s command.

Conclusion

Despite my many words, the structure of the local church is really quite simple. Christ is the head, the elders are the leaders, and the deacons are the servants.

Does this mean that “non-titled” members do not lead or do not serve? Of course not! We should not wait for a title before we lead and serve for Christ, both in the church and in the world. But men with these titles have the specific responsibility (and in the case of elders, the authority) to do these things, and will be held responsible for how they fulfilled their offices on Judgment Day (I Pet. 5:3; I Tim. 3:12).

This would be a better figure if the members didn't appear "under" the deacons, but it's a neat illustration nonetheless.

"Valedictorian Speaks Out Against Indoctrination"

2010-08-10T09:48:00.001-05:00

This is an incredibly powerful and courageous speech by a public-school valedictorian who is examining the pitfalls of American institutionalized education. (The words "indoctrination" and "brain-washing" are used--how's that for brave?)

It would be interesting to see how she got to the mindset she has now, what her thought process was. And is it just me, or do those folks in the back little rather uncomfortable??

Where I've Been and Where I'm Going

2010-08-06T11:50:00.001-05:00

Greetings all! I've been fairly MIA (again) the past couple weeks, but I have good reasons--I promise! Obviously the Baby Conference happened, so no posting during that. Then the next three weeks were spent with Trevvor's awesome younger siblings, Laurrel and Stuartt, so I didn't want to be online too much while they were here. Not to mention we made a round trip from AL to PA two weekends ago (for Trevvor's dad's wedding) and we're about to make a trip to NC today through Sunday. (Speaking of "through," what do y'all think of the alternate spelling, "thru"? Just a fad, or a needed orthological alteration?)

A couple of days after we returned from Texas, Laurrel (Trevvor's 17 year old sister) came down from PA to visit us for a week and a half. It was so great having a sister! There are few things like having a younger sibling to make you aware of your own spiritual deficiencies. I was every moment keenly aware of the example I was setting and of the testimony I was (or wasn't) being for Christ. On a lighter note, it was incredibly fun doing "girly" things throughout the week... shopping, being silly, going to a tea room, talking about "girl stuff" (I've really missed that!).... We even watched lots of home-videos from my growing up years, which was neat.

The following week, Stuartt (Trevvor's 15 year old brother) came to visit! We played lots of board games (I actually WON some of them, which NEVER happens) like checkers, Clue, and Apples-to-Apples. Trevvor and Stuartt played Risk, which is completely over my head. On Friday, Stuartt and I made pumpkin chocolate-chip cookies, and that evening he and Trevvor went for a bike-ride. Early Saturday morning we all three went for a hike on a nearby mountain, which was much more strenuous than it used to be, both because I'm more out of shape and because the trail has continued to erode.

Both visits were incredibly fun, and I loved getting to bond with my (relatively) new family here at home!

Another exciting event in our lives is that we bought our first car together as a couple!! It's a '95 Volvo station wagon with about 200,000 miles on it. It's so comfortable, and it runs great (and had a really nice price to boot)!

Today Trevvor and I are headed to North Carolina to visit with a family who has been part of Trevvor's life since childhood, and we're so excited! We'll get back on Sunday, and so maybe NEXT week I'll finally be able to continue my "What We Believe" series. The next two posts will be:

Church organization, structure, and leadership
Women's roles in the church

If you have anything you'd like to be particularly addressed in these posts, please let me know in a comment!

Have a good weekend, everyone!

The Baby Conference in Pictures

2010-07-20T09:08:00.001-05:00

Me, Trevvor, and my brother Chris at the Alamo

Trevvor outside a cool nook at the Alamo

The panel on having a large family

Me and my mom with Michelle Duggar at the Ladies' Tea

The lovely Luci speaking ever so articulately on feminism

Luci and Jennie after their panel on being ladies against feminism

Luci and her husband Randall with Trevvor and I!

Jim Bob & Michelle Duggar and Doug & Beall Phillips after presenting Michelle with the Mother of the Year Award

I wish I'd taken more pictures! But I was too busy taking it all in, haha. I think my dad took a bunch, and I hope to get a CD from Vision Forum with more images as well. For those of you who also went, would you mind sharing some of your photos with me?

Also, I'm currently reading the Duggars' book, 20 and Counting! My mom and Trevvor have already read it and loved it. We were able to get it signed by Jim Bob and Michelle! Michelle included her favorite verse, II Cor. 12:9, and Jim Bob wrote, "Be fruitful and multiply!"

For those of you who want the book, use the linked image below! It will help you, the Duggars, VF, and me! ;)

Baby Blurbs

2010-07-16T11:55:00.001-05:00

We returned from the Baby Conference this past Monday, and I keep meaning to sit down and write a long, reflective post on how wonderful it was, how inspiring and encouraging all the speakers were, how lovely it was to be surrounded by like-minded families.... Obviously this hasn't happened, so I thought I'd just write a couple of blurbs from the week instead, hopefully with more to come later.

First, thank you for telling me about yourselves on my last post! It was great to get all those comments and find out a little more about my readers. Btw, I LOVE getting comments, so don't feel like you need to wait until I ask to give them! ;)

Like I've already said, the Baby Conference was such a blessing. We were able to hang out with Luci and Randall quite a bit and get to know this awesome couple better. It was so great being able to see Luci speak with Jennie Chancey! She did splendidly, and really conveyed some much needed info to the audience. It was also wonderful meeting up with some friends I'd met at the Father & Daughter Retreat, and of course getting to meet lots of like-minded families (and then hold their babies)! I even met a lady and her family who I'd found only a few days before on an online home-steading forum!

If I had to pick a favorite thing about the conference, I think I would pick the fellowship with all the Christ-followers. That's just something "radicals" like us don't get very often, and I can't tell you how encouraged we were just by seeing these other families who were following the straight and narrow path. Of course the speakers were wonderfully articulate and inspirational (and, most importantly, scriptural), but you can get that on CDs--and in fact, we did. But at conferences like these, you go for the fellowship, the communion with like-minded Christians who are willing to be extremely counter-cultural in order to follow Christ.

I encourage you to visit Vision Forum Ministries and read about the Baby Conference topics. I encourage you even more strongly to consider purchasing the CDs (today is the last day of their introductory special). I can't re-tell the messages better than they were told from the stage, though I will probably be visiting some of those topics in the near future on the blog.

On a similar note, I've been reading a great book this week (courtesy of Luci!) that I highly recommend called Start Your Family: Inspiration for Having Babies (as if I need any inspiration). It's by Steve and Candice Watters. SYF isn't quite as "extreme" as Be Fruitful and Multiply (which I highly recommend as well). Because of this, it is ideal to introduce more mainstream Christians to the almost-forgotten-in-evangelical-churches idea that children are a blessing from the Lord. The Watters examine common fertility myths and reasons many couples delay children, and then give a compelling but fair look at why this is unnecessary, using statistics, anecdotes and most importantly Scripture in their conversational (and controversial) argument.

In their closing chapter, they include a quote from J.R. Miller's book Home-Making which I found particularly inspirational, and with which I will close:

It is a new marriage when the first-born enters the home. It draws the wedded lives together in a closeness they have never known before. It touches chords in their hearts that have lain silent until now. It calls out powers that have never been exercised before. Hitherto unsuspected beauties of character appear. The laughing heedless girl of a year ago is transformed into a thoughtful woman. The careless, unsettled youth leaps into manly strength and into fixedness of character when he looks into the face of his own child and takes it in his bosom.

New aims rise up before the young parents; new impulses begin to stir in their hearts. Life takes on at once a new and deeper meaning. The glimpse they have had into its solemn mystery sobers them. The laying in their hands of a new and sacred burden, an immortal life, to be guided and trained by them, brings them to a sense of responsibility that makes them thoughtful. Self is no longer the centre. There is a new object to live for, and object great enough to fill all their life and engross their highest powers.

Attn: All Readers!

2010-07-07T09:00:00.000-05:00

Well, this morning we left for Vision Forum's Baby Conference in San Antonio, Texas. (I pre-wrote this and scheduled its publication.) We're so excited to be blessed with this opportunity for fellowship and learning! I'm sure I'll have lots to say about it when we return, so my series on "What We Believe" may take a brief pause while I gush about the conference. In case you're wondering, the next installment will be on "Women's Role in the Church."

While I'm away, I would love it if all of you reading this could do me a fun favor! There are about 30 people officially "following" this blog, but I know from my hit counter and comments that there are probably more. Some of you I know in real life, but most of you I don't, and I'd love to "get to know you" a little and see who all actually reads this thing! So if you'd be so kind, leave a comment on this post! And until I get back, I'll even let you comment "anonymously" if that's your preference. :)

Here what I want to know:

1) Tell me a little about yourself!
2) How did you find this blog?
3) Any suggestions? Things you like, dislike, would like to hear more about, would like to hear less about?

À bientôt !

What We Believe: Musical Worship

2010-07-04T10:22:00.002-05:00

My husband and I believe that God desires us to worship Him in vocal song without the aid of mechanical instruments.

We believe this because we see that Scripture only authorizes vocal worship throughout the New Testament (which is our pattern for church worship) and because, by a study of church history, we have come to realize that instruments were not in use in the early church, and indeed their introduction was fraught with conflict.

Scriptural Authority

Following is every New Testament reference dealing with musical worship with the exception of two (1 Cor. 14:26 and several passages in Revelation), which are mentioned later in this article. All quotes are taken from the NKJV and all emphases are mine.

- Matthew 26:30; Mark 14:26 - "And when they had sung a hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives."
- Acts 16:25 - "But at midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them."
- Romans 15:9b - "'For this reason I will confess to You among the Gentiles, / And sing to Your name.'" (quoted from 2 Samuel 22:50 and Psalm 18:49)
- I Corinthians 14:15 - "What is the conclusion then? I will pray with the spirit, and I will also pray with understanding. I will sing with the spirit, and I will also sing with the understanding."
- Ephesians 5:19-20 - "...speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ...."
- Colossians 3:16 - "Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord."
- Hebrews 2:12 - "'I will declare Your name to My brethren; / In the midst of the assembly I will sing praise to You.'" (quoted from Psalm 22:22)
- James 5:13 - "Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing psalms."

Each of these passages uses the specific word "sing" rather than the generic word "music." If the generic were used, it would be left to the discretion of the local elders as to whether or not to sing a cappella or with the aid of mechanical instruments. However, the Lord inspired the New Testament writers to use "sing," and therefore that is all we are authorized to do.

What is the Purpose of Sung Worship?

Several of the verses listed give us reasons for singing in church worship.

Praising the Lord (Hebrews 2:12)
Giving thanks to God (James 5:13; Ephesians 5:19-20)
Teaching fellow Christians (Colossians 3:16)
Admonishing fellow Christians (Colossians 3:16)
The strengthening of the church (1 Cor. 14:26)

In addition, we are told that we are to sing "with understanding" (1 Cor. 14:15). While an argument could be made that instruments can be used to praise God, they cannot give thanks, they cannot teach or admonish fellow believers, they cannot strengthen the church, and--as instruments are inanimate objects--cannot have understanding. The meaning of the words sung is the most important aspect of worship (indeed, meaning is what separates spiritual music from secular), and while instruments can convey emotion, they cannot convey meaning.

Historical Precedent

Let me begin this section by saying that even if none of the following information existed, we would still be convicted to worship a cappella based on Scriptural authority alone. But since it does exist, it is worth examining.

Christians worshipped for centuries without the aid of mechanical instruments (and indeed, even today the finest choral groups perform a cappella, though this has little bearing on our argument). All ancient Christian music was vocal. It is not because they were unfamiliar with instruments: Jews and Greeks were both accustomed to using instruments in their worship, yet converts did not continue this practice in the Christian church.

The church fathers, such as Ambrose, Basil and Chrysostom, did not use nor condone the use of instruments. Basil goes so far as to directly condemn it, and Augustine in his Confessions emphasizes the use of the voice and singing during worship on page 235 for the edification of the church.

So if instruments were not used in the early church, much less the New Testament church, how did they come to be so common in modern worship? The ancient church did not use them, but we see that the Roman Catholic Church introduced them in the eighth century (though the Greek Orthodox Church in Europe still rejects them). During the Reformation, the reformers abandoned their use, but modern Protestantism brought them back a little over 150 years ago.

The American Encyclopedia, Volume XII, gives a rough timeline on page 688:

"Pope Vitalian is related to have first introduced organs into some of the churches of Western Europe about 670; but the earliest trustworthy account is that of one sent as a present to the Greek Emperor Constantine Copronymous to Pepin, king of the Franks, in 755."

The Shaff-Herzog Encyclopedia of Religious Knowledge, Volume II, page 1702 adds:

"In the Greek [Orthodox Church] the organ never came into use, but after the eighth century it became common in the Latin Church, not, however, without opposition from the side of the Monks... [and] it was in other places admitted only sparingly and after long hesitation."

We also learn later in this passage that the reformed church discarded the use of instruments during the Reformation. Christians in the early and reformed church realized that the use of mechanical instruments during worship was not Scripturally authorized, but the practice was re-introduced in Protestantism in the mid-1800s.

Quotes by Theologians

The word of man should never be taken above the Word of God. I list these quotes only to relate how many revered men of God from widely varying groups viewed the use of instruments in worship.

Martin Luther reputedly "called the organ an ensign of Baal," according to McClintock & Strong's Encyclopedia, Music, Volume VI., page 762.

John Calvin said in his Commentary on the Twenty-Third Psalm: "Musical instruments in celebrating the praise of God would be no more suitable than the burning of incense, the lighting of lamps, and the restoration of the other shadows of the law."

The founder of Methodism, John Wesley, says rather tongue-in-cheek: "I have no objection to the organ in our chapel, provided it is neither seen nor heard."

A noted Methodist preacher, Adam Clarke, wrote about instruments in his Clarke's Commentary:

"I here declare that I never knew [instruments of music] productive of any good in the worship of God; and have had reason to believe that they were productive of much evil. Music, as a science, I esteem and admire but instruments of music in the house of God, I abominate and abhor" (Vol. IV, page 686).

Charles Spurgeon, a great man of God and famous Baptist preacher, did not have instruments in the church for whom he preached during the entire 20 years he was there.

And lastly, though he is no theologian, the thoughts of Richard Wagner, a magnificent musical composer, seem quite relevant and worth repeating:

"There is no doubt but that those qualities absolutely necessary to church music, namely, modesty, dignity and soulfulness are more inherent in the vocal style than in any other. Reserve and humble restraint befits the house of God ... That vocal music is in general more expressive than the mechanically produced tones of instruments is undeniable. Religious feeling finds its most natural expression in vocal utterance, for the human heart is the source of both devotion and song." [Emphasis mine]

See Using Instruments in Worship and Instrumental Music in Worship: The Voice of History for more quotes from the early church fathers to modern-day theologians and scholars.

Further Objections

Let me start this section by saying that these are my personal thoughts on the matter, some of which are based on Scripture, and some of which are based on experience. Where there is no Scripture listed, it is my own opinion.
When there is an instrumentalist, attention tends to be focused on the person playing. It becomes something of a performance as their musical talent is showcased. At the end of the piano solo, for example, there is often applause and/or a chorus of "amen" from the audience. What, exactly, are they "amen-ing" if there are no words with which to agree?

Many instrumental accompaniments, such as organs, orchestras, and praise bands, drown out the congregational singing. We have already established that singing is, at least in part, for the edification of the congregation, yet here we have inanimate objects, incapable of edification, drowning out the voices that are singing praise to the Lord!

Instrumental music pulls on the emotions of the worshippers. Emotion has a right and proper place in worship, to be sure. However I have been to many mainstream "praise and worship nights" where I and the crowd around me have been caught up in the emotionalism of the moment, being more moved by the way the music makes me feel than the meaning of the words I'm singing, being more wrapped up in my own personal experience than in concern for the edification of my brothers and sisters in Christ.

Many churches that use instrumental music use choirs and soloists, but I take issue with this for two reasons. The first is because attention is focused on their musical ability and talent (the "performance" and "emotionalism" aspect), and the second is because 1 Cor. 14:26 tells us that "everyone" should have a hymn when we come together. This means the whole congregation, not a select few who are talented enough to be up "on stage."

Several of these points could be summarized by the fact that the use of instruments often becomes more of a "concert" or an attempt to entertain than true worship. Fun, up-beat music is used to draw in and retain visitors instead of a reliance on the power of the gospel. I have visited several churches which use musical instruments in which their "worship" is much more of a show than actual praise, complete with lighting effects.

Lastly, the use of instruments can become a crutch in the worship of God. At various Bible studies I've been to where I've suggested singing praise, I've been met with responses like, "But no one here can play the guitar" or "But we don't have a piano" as if these circumstances are required for communal worship. When people used to relying on instruments to "fill out" the worship sing a cappella, I have usually found it to be soft, if not even weak. This is not to say that everyone has to sing 8-part harmony beautifully--not at all! But we should worship with all our hearts, and sing out for the encouragement of our brethren!

Common Arguments

But what about psallo?
Some have raised the point that the Greek word psallo indicates the use of an instrument. In Classical Greek this is true, but it is not so in the Koine Greek, which is what the New Testament is written in. To further indicate that mechanical instruments are not included here, we are told in Ephesians 5:19 with what "instrument" to make music: our hearts. In fact, according to 17 different Greek-English Lexicons, one of the definitions of psallo is "To touch the chords of the human heart, that is, to sing, to celebrate with human praise."

But didn't they use instruments in the Old Testament?
Some will argue that instrumental accompaniment is justified because of examples of such in the Old Testament. The Psalms, especially, are replete with examples and imperatives to worship the Lord with the lyre and cymbals, among others. However, by this same logic, the burning of incense during worship and animal sacrifice would also be authorized and the seventh day Sabbath would have to be kept, etc.

Also, three Old Testament verses are quoted in the New Testament in regards to the musical worship of God. All three of these Old Testament verses mention singing as the form of worship, and there is in none of them mention of the aid of mechanical instruments.

But what about Revelation?
Various people use the argument that since harps were mentioned in Revelation as being used to worship the Lord in Heaven, that justifies their use on Earth. But the burning of incense in golden bowls is also mentioned in Rev. 5:8, but no one uses that as an argument that we should put that into practice here in this realm.

But instruments aid our vocal worship!
Sometimes, I admit, a small or particularly tone-deaf congregation could use a little help in the area of musicality. However, who are we trying to please, men or God? Should we be more concerned with our worship "sounding pretty" or with our worship being done in a Scriptural way for the praise and glory of the Father and the edification and encouragement of the brethren?

What We Believe: Baptism

2010-06-26T18:00:00.000-05:00

Trevvor and I believe that baptism is a necessary part of Salvation.

Before you begin to read, I want you to pull out your Bible and look up the passages. I quote some and paraphrase or summarize others, but it is always best to have your Bible at hand when dealing with such weighty subjects.

To begin...

When Christ is giving the Great Commission in Mark 16, He says in verses 15-16:

"Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature. He who believes and is baptized will be saved; but he who does not believe will be condemned." [Emphasis mine]

What is baptism?

First of all, we need to define baptism. How is it done? As used in Scripture, the Greek word baptizo means to immerse, plunge, dip, or bury in water. Obviously this means that "sprinkling" and "pouring" are not forms of baptism that we see exemplified in the New Testament.

In Acts 8, we see that Philip and the Ethiopian eunuch--who had already heard the gospel and believed it--"went down into the water" to be baptized and then "came up out of the water," and John the Baptist baptized in the Jordan River. No baptismal basins or water pitchers to be found here! To see the historical progression from immersion to other modern forms, click HERE.

In 1 Peter 3:21, Peter tells us that baptism is "the answer of a good conscience toward God."

In Acts 8:14-17, we see that "water" baptism (which I'm discussing here) and the baptism of the Holy Spirit are two different things. Believers in Samaria had believed, repented and been baptized, but Peter and John were sent to them to pray for them, because the new water-baptized believers had not yet received the baptism of the Holy Spirit.

What is baptism for?

According to Acts 2:38, Peter says that baptism in the name of Jesus Christ is for the remission of sins, after which we receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. In Acts 22:16, Paul says that baptism in the name of the Lord will "wash away" our sins.

In Romans 6, Paul describes baptism as being "baptized into [Christ's] death" (verse 3), and when we are raised from baptism (also implying immersion), we are raised a new man, and "should walk in the newness of life" (verse 4). Baptism unites us (verse 5) with Christ in the death of our sinful self and the resurrection of our justified self.
We see this again in Colossians 2:11:-12, where Paul discusses how we were buried with Christ in baptism and raised [from baptism] by God through faith, as He raised Christ from the dead.

In 1 Corinthians 10:2, Paul says that baptism unites all Christians into one body--the body of Christ--the church.
This sentiment is echoed in Ephesians 4:4-6:

"There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called in one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all." [Emphasis mine]

Paul tells us in Galatians 3:27 that when we are baptized into Christ, we have put on Christ, which means that we are all sons of God and "heirs according to the promise" (verse 29).

Peter discusses the purpose of baptism in 1 Peter 3:21. After discussing how Noah and his family were saved through water in the days of the flood, he says

"There is also an antitype which now saves us--baptism (not the removal of the filth of the flesh, but the answer of a good conscience toward God), through the resurrection of Jesus Christ." [Emphasis mine]

It could not be put more clearly: Baptism is an essential part of our salvation.

What part does baptism play in salvation?

The inspired New Testament writers gave us many examples of conversions in the early church, which often began with a question, "What must we do to be saved," and ended with various answers, including hear, believe, repent, and be baptized. Baptism is a constant for each conversion story.
Were the writers contradicting each other in giving different answers? No! Why? Because the inquirers were at different points in this "plan of salvation." Let's examine each of them that occurred after the death and resurrection of Christ. (Those recorded in the Gospels will be dealt with later.)

- The crowd in Jerusalem: (Acts 2) On Pentecost, Peter preaches the gospel to the crowd in Jerusalem (they heard). In verse 37, we read that they were "cut to the heart" (they believed), and they ask, "Men and brethren, what shall we do?" Since they have already heard and believed, Peter answers in verse 38, "Repent, and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit."
It is evident that here the gift of the Holy Spirit is a result of being baptized (in water, otherwise there would be two baptisms of the Spirit), as is the remission of our sins.
This passage continues to say in verse 41 that "those who gladly received his word were baptized; and that day about three thousand souls were added to them." [Emphasis mine] The souls were added to the church after the 3,000 were baptized.

- The people of Samaria: (Acts 8) Philip has preached in the city of Samaria (verse 5), and the multitudes "heeded the things spoken by Philip" (verse 6). So we see that they've heard and believed. In verse 12, we see that they were baptized, and in verse 13, Simon the sorcerer (who had heard with the multitudes) believed and was baptized as well. To emphasize, they had not been yet baptized with the Holy Spirit, according to verses 15-16, therefore, they must have been baptized with water previously.

- The Ethiopian eunuch: (Acts 8) Philip explains the Scripture to the eunuch in verse 35. In verse 37, the eunuch confesses that he believes that Christ is the Son of God. In verses 38-39, Philip baptizes the eunuch in the water.
Note: If this was the baptism of the Holy Spirit, then Philip would have no control over the baptism (though he could pray for it). As it is a water baptism, it says that "he baptized him" (referring to Philip and the eunuch).

- Saul/Paul: (Acts 9) This, in my humble opinion, is the most beautiful conversion story we have recorded. In verses 1-8, Christ Himself shares the gospel with Saul. We see that Saul believes verse 9, when he says, "Lord, what do You want me to do?" After waiting for further instructions in Damascus, Saul "arose [indicating some action] and was baptized" [comment mine] by Ananias in verse 18.

(Acts 22) Paul preaches the gospel to a mob in Jerusalem, and as he is recounting his own conversion story, he quotes Ananias as telling him, "And now why are you waiting? Arise and be baptized, and wash away your sins, calling on the name of the Lord." Obviously, if he was referring to the baptism of the Spirit, Ananias wouldn't have told Saul to "be baptized," as all some people claim Spiritual baptism requires is faith. If this was the case, Ananias would have simply told Saul to "believe" and wait for the Spirit to fall upon him. But instead, Saul must take an active role in his own salvation, and be baptized (in water) in order for his sins to be washed away.

- Cornelius and his household: (Acts 10) This is a conversion account that has caused some to stumble on the issue of baptism, including myself in the past. We are told in verse 2 that the Gentile centurion Cornelius is "a devout man and one who feared God with all his household, who gave alms generously to the people, and prayed to God always." So, he believed. But he is still unsure of his faith, therefor Peter preaches the gospel to Cornelius and his household in verses 24-43. In verse 44, the Spirit falls upon the Gentiles of the house. It is not until verse 47-48 that Peter commands them "to be baptized in the name of the Lord."
Some have used this example to say that since the Spirit fell on the Gentiles before baptism then water-baptism is not necessary for salvation, as they were already saved. But throughout both testaments we have examples of the Spirit falling on Jewish individuals without their salvation being implied (Numbers 24:42; 1 Samuel 19:20-24; John 11:49-52). The remarkable thing about Acts 10 is that here the Spirit falls on Gentiles. However, as evidenced by Peter's command, baptism was still necessary for the completion of their salvation. (See this link for a more detailed examination: http://www.bible.ca/eo/ba/ba_06.htm.)

- Lydia: (Acts 16) In verses 14-15 we read about the conversion of Lydia. She is described as a woman "who worshiped God" (she believed). Her heart was opened by the Lord to the things spoken by Paul (she heard the gospel). Then we see in verse 15 that she and her household were baptized.

- The Phillippian Jailer: (Acts 16) After witnessing the miraculous rescue by God of Paul and Silas from the Philippian jail, their jailer asks them in verse 30, "Sirs, what must I do to be saved?" (Note: the jailer has neither heard nor believed, much less been baptized, at this point.) They answer him in verse 31, saying, "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, you and your household." There is no mention of baptism, as the jailer hasn't even taken the "first steps" toward salvation. It is not until verse 33, after he has taken these steps, that "he and all his family were baptized."

- Crispus: (Acts 18) Verse 8 of this chapter tells us that Crispus, ruler of the synagogue, his household, and "many of the Corinthians, hearing [the gospel], believed and were baptized." [Comment mine]

- The Ephesians: (Acts 19) Paul asks the Ephesians if they had received the Holy Spirit when they believed. They had not, and so he inquired into what they had been baptized, implying this has a direct affect on your spiritual state. When they responded "Into John's baptism," Paul instructs them to be baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus. (Again, the Ephesians must take an active role in their salvation: they do not save themselves, but neither are they passive in the process.) Paul then laid hands on them, at which point the Holy Spirit came upon them.

Is baptism "a work"?

It depends on your definition of "work." If baptism can be considered a work, then "repenting" could also be considered a work. On the same count, "believing" could also be considered a work. These things are not "works" (i.e., "good deeds" by which one tries to earn their salvation), rather, they are acts of faith, which follow the hearing of the gospel and being convicted of its truth. Few people disagree that believing and repenting are things we must "do" to be saved, yet many arbitrarily draw the line above baptism and then label it "a work." Such individuals claim that by saying something like "The Sinner's Prayer" and "inviting Jesus into our hearts" we are saved. By their own definition, are these not "works"?

When we are baptized, we do not save ourselves. It is the Lord who saves us upon our baptism--but we must be baptized.

Who is baptized?

As we have already examined in the conversion examples given above, each story tells of a believing adult who was fully aware of their need for Christ. Infant baptism is in no way supported in Scripture, as infants have no way of understanding the difference between good and evil, much less knowledge of their own disposition to sin and need for the grace offered by Christ. Indeed, it is apparent from the words of Christ that infants and children have no need for salvation: "Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them for of such is the kingdom of heaven" (Matthew 19:14).

The practice of infant baptism began when the idea of original sin was developed, which basically meant that we are all born in sin. However, according to 1 John 3:4, sin is something we commit. James 1:14-15 describes the process by which we sin, and nowhere does it imply we are born in sin. Paul implies that in his childhood, he was "alive" without the law (when he was unaware of it), but when the law came (when he learned God's will, i.e., good and evil), then "sin revived" and he "died."
If John, James, and Paul are correct (and they are), then children do not need saving baptism until they are mature enough to be aware of and understand their own sinfulness. This age, which the church of Christ labels "the age of accountability" (in other words, the age at which you are accountable for your sin), is different for everyone, but usually comes in the teen years.

For a more detailed (though at times less grammatical) explanation, visit HERE.

Are There Exceptions?

What about the thief on the cross?
In Luke 23:40-43, we find what is an apparent exception to the plan of salvation, which many use to support their belief that baptism is not necessary for salvation.
Obviously the thief has believed and repented, as evidenced by his saying, "And we indeed [are crucified] justly, for we receive the due reward of our deeds; but this Man has done nothing wrong.... Lord, remember me when You come into Your kingdom." Jesus responds by saying, "Assuredly, I say to you, today you will be with Me in Paradise." There are several reasons why this does not discount baptism as part of the plan of salvation, however.

1) The thief was still under the Old Covenant, and therefore not subject to baptism. The New Covenant was not established until the death (and resurrection) of Christ, at which point the Old Law was fulfilled. The plan of salvation (which includes baptism) of the New Covenant was not yet in effect.

2) According to Romans 6:3-6, baptism represents us being buried and raised with Christ. However, if Christ had not even died yet, how could baptism mean this to the thief on the cross?

3) While Christ was on Earth, He also had the authority to forgive sins on Earth. We see this in Mark 2:9-12 and parallel passages in the other Gospels when Jesus heals the paralytic. Obviously, He was still on Earth when He forgave the thief.

What if someone dies before they can be baptized?
Often when I've talked to someone about baptism as part of salvation, they bring up a hypothetical situation that goes something like this: "What if someone heard the gospel, believed it, repented of his sins, and put his faith in Christ, yet on his way to be baptized was killed in car accident? Would God keep him out of Heaven?"

The only answer I can give them is, "I don't know." What I do know, however, is what God says we should do to be saved, and that includes baptism. I am not going to let a hypothetical situation which rankles with my idea of a merciful God keep me from following the gospel!

Could God save someone even if they're not baptized? Of course. Should or would He? That is certainly not a question that should be answered by men. We do have the following verse to comfort us, however: "For He [the Lord] says to Moses: "I will have mercy on whomever I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whomever I will have compassion" (Romans 9:15).

In Conclusion

I am no theologian, nor am I a biblical scholar. I have consulted very few resources besides Scripture, though I have referenced some for clarification purposes, such as in the case of Cornelius and to discover how the church moved from immersion to sprinkling and pouring. I expect that I rambled at times, and at some points was unclear. I hope that you will point out these areas for clarification. I am still learning, and I desire to learn as much from your comments as I hope you've learned from this post.

All Scripture quotes are taken from the New King James Version of the Bible.

What Drives Our Search and A List of Topics

2010-06-17T21:43:00.000-05:00

Before I start posting about individual church-related topics or individual churches we've visited, I want to briefly discuss the spiritual background of both myself and my husband and to give a (not so brief) list of some of the things that are important to us in our future church.

Trevvor grew up going to a variety of churches, and his family wasn't loyal to one group or denomination. When he left for college, they were attending a Christian Missionary Alliance. The theology of the churches were usually fairly conservative as far as I know, and most of his friends were fellow home-schoolers who shared a similarly conservative lifestyle. In fact, during high school, Trevvor and about 9 other young men met early each Saturday morning to discuss some of the great theologians of our recent past! Trevvor is willing to submit to Scripture as his ultimate authority for theological and life matters.

I grew up worshipping with a church of Christ of about 2,000 members. Churches of Christ, thought non-denominational and autonomous, are known in the religious world to be one of the most conservative churches of our time, but within the congregations that call themselves "churches of Christ," there is great variation along the "conservative" spectrum. I grew up at one of the more "liberal" or "progressive" churches. (Can you tell I'm not fond of these sorts of labels? If you are unfamiliar with the coC and need specifics, just let me know!) My mother and her parents, as well as my church to an extent, instilled respect in me for the authority of the Bible over our entire lives.

Do you see the common denominator in our stories? This willingness to submit to Scripture that Trevvor and I share has been key in our marital unity, and it is the primary scale on which we will weigh the attributes of the churches we visit that will override our own personal preferences.

Once we were engaged, Trevvor became a member of the church of Christ as well, believing--as I do--that many of these churches are truly sincere in their desire to follow Scripture over society and to be a model of the New Testament church. Because of this, the first churches we have been visiting have been churches of Christ.
Do I believe the coC is the only Scriptural church? No, though it is one among few. Do I believe that every coC is a Scriptural church? Again, no.
Because of both these factors, we will also visit a couple of other churches, namely anabaptist and family-integrated. Wherever we go, we are both taking notes as to the Scriptural accuracy of the church, comparing them afterwards to make sure we are (literally and figuratively) on the same page. If the church is not Scripturally accurate (within reason--we understand that no one is perfect!), then we will move on.

Now for the list. Many of the items on the list are "staples," so to speak, of a church of Christ, but some are not, and fall better under the "family integrated" or "anabaptist" label. (See why we're going to have a hard time with this?) I may not have a post on every topic, or in this order. Also, things like "loving Christ and each other" and "not prone to gossip" and "not living in open sin" are kind of givens, so I won't rehash them here.

Our church should...

Believe in the proper relationship of the Trinity
Believe that Scripture is 100% inspired by God and is sufficient authority for our lives in all matters
Believe that baptism is part of salvation and that it is Biblically done by immersion rather than sprinkling or anointing
Believe we are saved by grace through faith only, but that good works are a natural result of that faith and therefore necessary to the Christian life
Believe in the Biblical creation
Call Bible things by Bible names rather than by the terms and labels of man
Be led by men and have women who are silent in the church
Be properly organized both within and without

Each congregation should be autonomous from other congregations and not associated with a denomination, council, synod, or conference
Each congregation should have elders/bishops/shepherds/pastors as their leaders (this is different from the role of minister or evangelist)
Each congregation should have deacons appointed to minister to the members
It is appropriate, but not necessary, for there to be a paid evangelist

Hold worship services regularly, on the first day of the week
Conduct services decently and in order
Have communion/the Lord's Supper on the first day of each week
Worship through song a cappella and without the aid of mechanical instruments
Be family-integrated, without the unbiblical age-segregation into children's ministry, youth ministry, college ministry, young marrieds' ministry, families' ministry, empty-nesters' ministry, elderly persons' ministry... etc.

Lifestyle of Church Members

Members should be willing and eager to minister to those in their community both with time and money

This could also take the form of mission trips

Members' lives should, with the grace of God, show the love of Christ to the lost of this world
Preferably, many (if not most) of the members will home-school
There should be an emphasis on intra- and extra-church hospitality
Hopefully there will be an emphasis on modesty beyond the norm of society (it would be great if there were other "skirts-only" ladies there)
It would be nice if many (if not most or all) of the ladies covered at least during worship services, and amazing if there were a few other "full-timers" as well
There should be an emphasis on simplicity in lifestyle rather than a focus on materialism
Families should be biblically structured (this is the ideal that should be striven for, not what we expect every family to have already reached)

Husband is the head of the family and its spiritual leader
Husband is provider for and protector of the family
Wife is willing to submit to her husband's authority
Wife is the keeper of the home and primary nurturer of the children
Children should obey both parents with respect and honor

It would be wonderful if most of the families were "quiver-full," i.e. welcomed the blessing of children without inhibiting it by artificial means

Whew! We have quite the task ahead of us to define and discuss these things. Let me know if there are some topics you'd like me to go ahead and address. Before taking (too much) issue with any of the things I've listed, try to wait until I actually write about it, though I am sure we're not going to agree on everything!

The Great Church Search of 2010

2010-06-15T16:12:00.002-05:00

As we have been settling into our new home, the most oft-occurring conversation Trevvor and I are having is about church. We are not--as most of you know--mainstream in our religious beliefs, as they apply both to orthodoxy or orthopraxy (in other words, doctrine and lifestyle). We're realizing that finding a church which shares our "conservative" beliefs about theology as well as about life decisions like home-schooling, principles of modesty, gender roles, simplicity, birth-control, etc., will be pretty difficult. And add to all these things our preference for a small church (around 100 members or so) and our hope that it will be within 30 minutes of our home!

It's going to be pretty difficult to find this "ideal" church, so we're trying to keep in mind that no church is going to be "ideal." Churches are made up of people, and people are fallen and sinful. Knowing this, we've been talking about what is most important for our church home to believe/be. Is it more important to have the orthodoxy down, or the orthopraxy? Obviously both would be best, but if that can't be found, will it be better for our children to be surrounded (at church, at least) by like-minded families and peers as it relates to modesty and simplicity (orthopraxy) or as it relates to the exact beliefs about whether you are anointed with or immersed in water for baptism (orthodoxy)?

Anyway, these conversations have caused us to examine yet again why we believe what we believe. My thoughts are not fully formed until I've written them (which is why I blog!), so I plan to write a post for each belief, in no particular order. For reflection's sake, I also hope to write an anonymous "review," so to speak, of each church we visit. (We've already visited four.)

Does anyone have any thoughts or suggestions? What has your family done when looking for a new church family? What have been the most important things on your "list" of what your future church must be, and what were you willing to compromise on? How did you make your decision?

Brief Hiatus

2010-05-26T20:55:00.000-05:00

Greetings, faithful followers. I want to first apologize for being a bit MIA from the blog readers recently. What with packing, moving, finishing out our basement apartment, living from my childhood bedroom with all our personal belongings in boxes, traveling, caring for two new kittens, doctors appointments (I got a gross spider bite--eww), and preparing for a long trip... blogging hasn't been the first thing on my mind.

All that to say, until we've returned from the trip we'll be taking soon and we're relatively settled (I at least want all our furniture where it's supposed to be--at the moment it's all piled in our future living room--and the most important boxes unpacked), I'm going to take a brief hiatus from the blogosphere. I might be commenting here and there, and I hope to refine a few posts that have long been in the "post draft" category, but it will be a couple weeks if not a month before I return. Feel free to shoot me an email, though! Or, if you really miss me, you could always browse the archives to see how much I've changed in the past few years. ;)

À bientôt !

URGENT: Action Must Be Taken to Stop the CRC!

2010-05-20T12:30:00.000-05:00

The following is a re-post of an email I received from ParentalRights.org. If you are unaware of the pending ratification of the UN's Convention on the Rights of the Child, you need to become aware of it and contact your senators and congressmen, expressing your desire that it not be ratified!

As we announced last week, Senator Jim DeMint on Tuesday introduced S.R. 519, a resolution urging the President not to deliver the Convention on the Rights of the Child to the Senate for its advice and consent. Now it is time to make phone calls. We need 34 co-sponsors of S.R. 519 in order to end the threat of ratifying the CRC for the immediate future. And we need you to call your senators and get them on board.

We are not the only ones who believe this is a critical time for the Senate and the CRC. According to the minutes of the Feb. 19 meeting of the Campaign for US Ratification of the Convention on the Rights of the Child, our opponents believe they “had 60 Senators assessed as supporters of ratification, 27 opposed and 13 in the middle” as of 2009.

What is more, the Campaign announced on April 27 that they were “launching an initiative that verifies EVERY Senator’s position on U.S. ratification of the CRC,” essentially asking their supporters to call their senators and urge their support for the Convention.

But now it is our turn, and we’re not just taking a survey. Please call your senators and urge them to cosponsor S.R. 519, the resolution opposing ratification of the CRC. Here is all you need to do:

Visit our Resolution Status Board, a new web page designed to track our quest for 34 cosponsors.
Look up your state. If your senator is a cosponsor, he is highlighted. If not, his phone number is provided.
Call your senator(s) and tell them the following in your own words:

“I oppose the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child because it interferes with my family and violates the principle of American self-government. Whatever laws we need to protect children should be made by American legislators, not international committees. Please cosponsor Senate Resolution 519. Thank you for your time.”
You can also read the resolution for more ideas of what you might say when you call.
Then, pass this on to all of your friends and family and urge them to do the same.

Only the proposed Parental Rights Amendment can permanently end the threat to families posed by the Convention on the Rights of the Child, but S.R. 519 can postpone any risk of ratification for the next couple of years, protecting parental rights long enough to get the amendment passed. Please call now, before you close this email. The future of our nation depends on you!

Further Action Items: Campaign 519

To kick off our efforts to halt the CRC with S.R. 519, we are looking for 519donors who can give at least $5.19.

In addition, all our usual offers still apply. Donors of $35 or more receive a ParentalRights.org membership kit, and donors of $100 or more receive an advanced member kit and – this month only –a free copy of Grover Norquist’s book (see left).

Every gift of $5.19 or more will greatly strengthen our efforts to stop this treaty from overthrowing our families and our American law.

Call Your Congressman

In addition, now is a great time to call your congressman and urge him once again to support H.J.Res. 42, the Parental Rights Amendment. It is the only permanent solution to the threat to families posed by the CRC.

Visit ParentalRights.org/States and click on your state. If your congressman is not a cosponsor (designated with an *), click on his name for contact information and give him a call.

Tell him you support parental rights and want to see them permanently protected in the text of the Constitution. Tell him party affiliation is no excuse – the Louisiana Senate recently passed a resolution calling for the amendment, and the 34-0 vote included 17 Democrats, 16 Republicans and 1 Independent. Tell them you will be looking for a courageous leader on family issues this November, and ask them to support H.J. Res. 42.

Be polite and thank them for their time.

Two Joyful Years Together Today

2010-05-10T17:46:00.002-05:00

Two years ago today, Trevvor and I were joined together in front of witnesses as man and wife, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.

We had met almost two years before that, on June 7, 2006, at freshmen orientation for the University of Alabama. He sat behind me and my future roomie in the first session with another guy (his future roomie also), and they thought we were pretty so they introduced themselves.

My future roomie and I... with Trevvor in the background.

We hadn't even introduced ourselves yet!

Trevvor and I were in the same small-group for orientation since our last names both started with a "C." We found out we'd both been home-schooled and that we were both Christians, and hung out for much of orientation together. A few days later he befriended me on Facebook, and we kept up throughout the summer.

Trevvor, me, and his future roomie on the last day of orientation.

In August, we arrived on campus a week before classes started to participate in a service-learning project called Outdoor Action. There were only about 20 students participating, and we quickly became part of the same little group of freshmen. From the start I admired Trevvor's work-ethic and friendly nature (not to mention his handsome visage).

Chilling together early one morning during Outdoor Action.

The OA group stayed together during the first semester of college, and our numbers ebbed and flowed, but Trevvor and I constantly found ourselves together socially. We mutually enjoyed each other's company, and soon realized that we had much in common that set us apart from the other students around us. By the end of that first semester, we were beginning to pair off, and subsequently hear the following question almost daily: "Are y'all dating yet?"

Fall Break 2006 Road Trip to my grandparents' house.

He came home with me for Christmas Break as his flight for PA left from my home-town the following day. It just so happened that this was the weekend all my family was there for our "Christmas weekend," and we discovered that Trevvor had something in common with five of my close relatives: their names began with a "Tr-" and they shared the last name of "Clark"--my mother's maiden name was "Clark," you see. I liked to read more into this than I probably should have, haha.
We wrote friendly letters during those weeks apart, and I picked him up from the airport at the end of the break. He told me later that when he saw me waiting to greet him, he knew at that moment he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.

Soon after we started dating.

On February 11, 2007, after several serious discussions about our pasts, our present and our future, we entered into a committed relationship. We knew that (as far as we knew) we were headed towards marriage, and if we realized after prayer and discussion that we were not "meant to be," then we would break things off. Of course, that never happened. :)

On his 19th birthday with the soccer Build-a-Bear I made him. :)

We enjoyed several happy months around campus, loving each other more each day, before we had to go our separate ways for the summer. I was able to visit him in PA over Memorial Day week, but after that it was three months apart. On our last day together, he gave me a letter stating his desire to marry me "someday." I was ecstatic, and all summer we talked about our lives together.

Holding baby bunnies during my PA visit in 2007.

I studied abroad in England during July and part of August, and he was with my family to pick me up when I landed state-side. That night, he was baptized by my grandfather, surrounded by my mother's family. The next evening, he asked my parents for permission to marry me "someday." After much deliberating, they agreed, and the next morning he proposed.

The weekend after our engagement!

Our announcement of engagement wasn't met with happy faces all around: at the time we were only 19, and our families had their [reasonable] doubts as to our preparedness for marriage. We assured them that we would wait at least two years before tying the knot, but as the semester progressed, we realized that waiting was simply not necessary nor beneficial. Our families began to see this too, so by December 2007 we were planning the wedding for the following May.

At a formal soon before our wedding!

It was a hectic semester that almost couldn't go fast enough as we made the reservations, bought the dress, and sent the invitations (not to mention taking classes). We continued to talk about our future. We talked about everything: our opinions, expectations, desires, reservations, doubts... religion, children, finances, houses, cars, media, education, gender roles... everything.

Finally, the day arrived: May 10, 2008. It passed in a flurry of excitement and joy. Thanks to the planning and preparation of my dear mother, it was more beautiful than I'd ever imagined. And at the end of the day, I was Mrs. Trevvor Clark.

I had a lot to learn about marriage and being a wife--and I still have most of it to learn two years later--but those first weeks were so sweet and lovely as we gracefully fumbled our way into married life, united before God and man.

And that's the first few chapters of our love story. I'm amazed every day that each page just keeps getting better.

Some Points on Which I Agree with the Amish

2010-05-09T19:16:00.005-05:00

Following are several quotes from a book I just completed called A History of the Amish. It is written by a secular author, and I found it to be relatively unbiased (if anything, he leans a little in favor of Amish life). It covers Anabaptist origins to the state of the modern Amish church. It is obviously non-fiction, but it is anything but dull. I found it to be an enlightening and enjoyable read, and realized that--though I doubt we'd ever actually become Amish--we have more beliefs in common with them than I thought. The quotes I have here are examples of these shared beliefs, though it is by no means a comprehensive list (the most notable subject left out is that of education, which is extensively covered in the previous post).

Nolt, Steven M. A History of the Amish. Revised and Updated. Intercourse, PA: Good Books, 2003.

"Modern observers are intrigued by people [Amish, in this case,] who demonstrate the possibility of countercultural choices and show that life can be different. But ... moderns also desperately want to believe that such dissenters are deeply flawed, thereby reassuring themselves of modernity's superiority." (page 328)

"In a world seeking security in more powerful weapons, happiness in scarce resources, and faith in the individual's ability to hasten human progress, Amish life continues to compel many moderns to stop and think about choices and decisions...." (page 334)

Women's Contribution to the Home
"The USDA was especially taken with the contribution of Amish women to their family's financial well-being [during the Great Depression], noting that many put in cash-crop potatoes, raised poultry, and sold eggs to make ends meet. Surveys showed that, on average, farm wives produced the equivalent of $422 wort of food, thanks in large part to their annually canning of 345 quarts of vegetables and fruit per household. Coupled with limited consumer consumption--Amish women also did much of their families' sewing, for example--this productivity led agents to conclude that 'women's labor was central to successful family farming.'" (page 285)

A Day-by-Day Faith Exemplified through Works
"The Amish believed that Christians experienced salvation in everyday living. This was not salvation earned by individuals it was the free gift given by God's grace. And that gift was relized as one's life was transformed day-by-day into the image of Christ. 'Following Jesus daily' was one way in which Amish forebears ... had described Christian life. To the Amish mind, being faithful to Christ's commands was a visible indication of faith. The Amish did not downplay Christian conversion, as such--in fact Amish writings stressed the need for regeneration, or the new birth, which would result in a new way of of life." (page 87)

A Communal View of the Church
"The Amish view of church was also different from that of many evangelicals. The Amish thought of church in community terms. Church members were mutually accountable to each other, even in matters of personal lifestyle. Baptism symbolized commitment both to God and fellow believers, while the Lord's Supper was a sign of the local church's unity in matters large and small." (page 87)

The Necessity of Adult Baptism
"Baptism ... was only for adults or those old enough to choose the path of discipleship.... Some dissenters [from state churches in Europe] refused to have their infant children baptized because the children were not yet old enough to understand the implications of Christ's teachings...." (page 11)

Social Security and the Welfare State

"For the Amish, the welfare state caused concern for two reasons. First, the 'better life' toward which the system strove was not necessarily the Amish ideal. Based on middle-class professional values, most programs encouraged individual achievement and ignored the importance of other minority concerns. Then, too, the welfare-state could undercut community-based mutual aid. Church-centered care and extended-family responsibility might become irrelevant in the face of public intervention." (page 319)

Simplicity and Anti-Materialism
"In an ironic way, [beginning between about 1790 and 1850,] the fact that white America was relatively free from social class and rank distinctions meant that suddenly the possibility was open for anyone to be an aristocrat. In a society that prized individual liberty, the race was on to the top of the social ladder. Publishers issued exacting guidebooks ... to instruct Americans on how to talk, walk, eat, laugh, and write a letter like a gentleman or a lady. Genteel activities demanded genteel surroundings, including houses with carpets, mirrors, and display objects such as dishes that one did not use, but had only 'for show.' Ordinary people world long and hard to give the appearance of not working at all. Refined people read novels, had more clothes than they could wear, and found creative ways to demonstrate that they possessed excess wealth. ... In the wake of this realignment of public virtues and values, the Amish commitment to separation from the frivolity of the world took on new significance." (pages 139-140)

"Moderns trying to understand Old Order [Amish] must not assume:

That ideas expressed and tested in words are brighter and truer than ideas which take their form in personal community life.
That people who accept the ideas of the eighteenth century's so-called Age of Reason are the 'enlightened' ones of the world.
That change is usually good, and usually brings 'progress.'
That the individual is the supreme unity, individual rights are the most sacred rights, and human life richest when individuals are most autonomous....
That vigor of programs, institutions, [and] activity are a test of a Christ group's validity and faithfulness.
That large organizations, organizational unity, and denominational and interdenominational tolerance are better measures of Christian success than is a close-knit congregational life...." (page 244-245)

Two Quotes on the Amish View of Education

2010-05-03T21:26:00.001-05:00

Following are two quotes which concern the current Amish view towards formal education in today's institutionalized schools. I think they are highly applicable to the majority of conservative Christian home-schoolers as well, and found them, as a home-school grad and future home-school mom, to be edifying and encouraging, especially as they are both written by secular, relatively unbiased sources.

Nolt, Steven M. A History of the Amish. Revised and Updated. Intercourse, PA: Good Books, 2003. 273-274.

"Born of Progressive optimism about social engineering, and recent war-time anxiety over the place of unassimilated ethnic groups, the drive to reform public education was grounded in a belief that schools would produce forwad-thinking, patriotic citizens. Exposure to new ideas through a centrally managed curriculum would strip away old values, customs, and traditions and provide the rising generation with a common culture. New state guidelines mandated additional subjects and textbooks, longer school terms, and attendance often through age 16 in an effort to make the social ideal more quickly a reality....

"[Old Order Amish] parents believed that learning under such circumstances was of little practical value, and even posed a threat to their way of life. Troubling, too, was the 'worldly wisdom' of competition and individual self-improvement that seemed to lie at the heart of the high school curricula championed by public-school reformers. Formal education should remain basic, the Amish believed, in harmony with the church and the home, and be one part of a broader education that included developing work and vocational skills on the farm or in the family business. Learning how to live with one's family, church, and community were skills missing from the expanded public school studies, yet with longer school-years and increased attendance requirements, children had even less time to be at home."

Supreme Court of the United States: State of Wisconsin, Petitioner, v. Jonas Yoder, Adin Yutzy, and Wallace Miller. On Writ of Certiorari to the Supreme Court of Wisconsin. [May 15, 1972], No. 70-110.

"Amish objection to formal education beyond the eighth grade is firmly grounded in ... central religious concepts. They object to high school and higher education generally because the values it teachers are in marked variance with Amish values and the Amish way of life.... The high school tends to emphasize intellectual and scientific accomplishments, self-determination, competitiveness, worldly success, and social life with other students. Amish society emphasizes learning-through-doing, a life of 'goodness' rather than technical knowledge, community welfare rather than competition, and separation rather than integration with worldly society.

"As the record so strongly shows, the values and programs of the modern secondary school are in sharp conflict with the fundamental mode of life mandated by the Amish religion; modern laws requiring compulsory secondary education have accordingly engendered great concern and conflict. The conclusion is inescapable that secondary schooling, by exposing the Amish children to worldly influences in terms of attitudes, goals and values contrary to beliefs, and by substantially interfering with the religious development of the Amish child and his integration into the way of life of the Amish faith community at the crucial adolescent state of development, contravenes the basic religious tenets and practices of the Amish faith, both as to the parent and child .... The State's requirement of compulsory formal education after the eighth grade would gravely endanger if not destroy the free exercise of the respondents' religious beliefs.

"The State attacks respondents' position as one fostering 'ignorance' from which the child must be protected by the State. No one can question the State's duty to protect children from ignorance but this argument does not square with the facts disclosed in the record. Whatever their idiosyncrasies as seen by the majority, this record strongly shows that the Amish community has been a highly successful social unit within our society even if apart from the conventional 'mainstream.' ...

"It is neither fair nor correct to suggest that the Amish are opposed to education beyond the eighth grade level. What this record shows is that they are opposed to conventional formal education of the type provided by a certified high school because it comes at the child's crucial adolescent period of religious development.....

"We most not forget the in the Middle Ages important values of the civilization of the western world were preserved by members of religious orders who isolated themselves from all worldly influences against great obstacles. There can be no assumption that today's majority is 'right' and the Amish and others like them are 'wrong.' A way of life that is odd or even erratic but interferes with no rights or interests of others is not to be condemned because it is different...."

The Newest Addition to Our Family

2010-04-29T15:56:00.001-05:00

Last Saturday, Trevvor and I adopted a canine companion from the local animal shelter. Mom and I had gone to the shelter the evening before "just to look" and I came home begging Trevvor to return with me the next morning. Being the loving husband that he is, he agreed to at least come meet the doggies I found, but made no promises as to getting one given the transition we're about to make. But when he saw that brown Husky mix, I just knew he wanted him as much as I did--and as it turns out, he is now the most enthusiastic of the two of us about our new pet!

Trevvor and Dune with the girl, Johanna, who helped us at the shelter

We named our dog Dúnadan, after the Rangers of the North in Lord of the Rings. We call him "Dune" for short; apparently dogs learn shorter names easier. Dune's a mid-sized, wolfish dog, and he's about a year old.

A friendly canine introduction :)

Thus far he's gotten along with my family's dog, Piper, pretty well, though we've been keeping them in separate fences.

Me and Dune on our driveway (at my parents' house)

Outside he is playful and fun, but he is also very gentle, quiet, and affectionate. We still haven't heard him bark or growl at other people or animals, even if they were strangers.

Us'n'our dogs! Doesn't Dune look especially wolfish here??

He's pretty possessive of his bones, and likes to play tug-o-war with a pull-toy (but even during this game he doesn't growl!).

Trevvor, my brother, and my dad with our doggies after the walk

(This is the road that we'll live on)

Dune stands still while being brushed or when we're trying to put his harness on, and he likes to sleep next to the door or window he last saw us at.

Piper loves the water in our creek, but Dune wasn't too sure...

He's very energetic and likes to run with Trevvor, but he's not too fond of getting in the water. He likes to nuzzle and give kisses, but he rarely jumps up on us.

With Dune in the truck right after we got him!

Yep, I think we've found the perfect dog!

In Transition

2010-04-27T17:00:00.001-05:00

Well, the chapter of our lives which is set in Tuscaloosa is coming to a close. Four years ago we met here, two years ago we began our lives here as man and wife, but now it's time for a change. In a little less than a month we will be packing up and moving in with my family in the Huntsville area.

Yes, we'll be living with my folks. The move has been somewhat sudden as we follow Trevvor's job, and we decided that it would be wiser to save our money to have bigger down-payment on a house in the next year or so rather than throw it away on rent. We all figured that my family has the space and needs our help around the place, and we need somewhere to live, so it all works out. We'll be able to have the whole basement to ourselves, which is bigger than our current apartment!

My family owns about 15 acres in a rural area, and we're hoping to help them get a productive garden started as well as learn together how to raise goats and maybe eventually some chickens as well. We would love to share our own little "homestead" out there, and learn how to preserve things and make things--edible and otherwise--from scratch. Helping them around the place with day-to-day maintenance as well as on some bigger projects will mostly serve as "room and board," which is nice since it's stuff we'd be doing if we had our own place anyway.

Admittedly, it will be a bit strange for me to combine my childhood home with my "marriage home." There is definitely a push in America these days about being independent from your family as much as possible as soon as you reach adulthood, and it is a push which we believe is a bit too hard. Indeed, there is much to be said for solidly establishing your own nuclear family, but cutting economic ties completely is a phenomena of only the most recent generations in Western society. We are now a society of "individual" units rather than "family" units. This certainly doesn't mean we're going to stay in the basement forever, haha, but we realize that it is a temporary necessity, and we're all actually quite excited about it. Boundaries will need to be set and we'll all need to check in with each other every couple of weeks, but as we head towards home-ownership in the most debt-free way possible, we believe that this is the best way to go. :)

So that's what's going on in our lives. We're currently up in Huntsville most weekends finishing out the basement and organizing some stuff that's in the rooms we're going to move into, and soon we'll start packing up our home of only six months, so if my blog is somewhat sparse here soon, you'll know why!

"Getting to Know You" with At the Well

2010-04-26T23:04:00.000-05:00

The ladies At the Well are doing a "get to know you" session for their readers, so I thought I'd join in.

My name is Stephanie, and I am a 22-year-old wife and home-keeper in Alabama. My husband of (almost) two years is named Trevvor, and he is also 22 and works as an accountant. We just graduated from college last December, me in English and him in accountancy.

We have two brown tabby kitties (Maggie and Nina) and a brown husky-mix dog (Dúnadan, aka "Dune"). For now they're our "kids," but we really are hoping to have children as soon as God is ready to give them to us.

I currently work part-time as an ESL tutor at a local elementary school. That means that I teach students who don't speak English as their native language. I'm pretty passionate about this, and so Trevvor and I hope to continue it in a volunteer capacity, maybe even opening our home to be a little "school" for ELLs (English language learners) in the future. My job will only be for a couple more weeks, and then I will transition into full-time home-keeping.

We're pretty different in that we believe in traditional family roles and simplicity. We also believe that children are a blessing and we are willing to raise as many as God wants us to have, whether through birth or adoption As a woman, I feel that I need to be primarily at home rather than pursuing my own interests in a paying job. I also do my best to dress modestly, and so I wear only flowing skirts and looser tops out of the home. At the beginning of the year I was convicted that I should cover my head during worship, and my husband was also, so I now cover my head just about all the time.

My husband and I were both home-schooled for the majority of our pre-college years, and we are planning to home-school our children as well. We truly believe that this is the best form of education in many ways, but most importantly we believe that God gave the responsibility of raising (which includes educating) children to the parents, not to other teachers and especially not to the state, so we feel fairly strongly about this.

For fun, I'm rather obsessed with reading. Language is my medium, and I love to read books, non-fiction and fiction both. I also play the violin, though not as seriously as I once did. I'm re-learning how to crochet and cross-stitch, and I hope to soon learn how to sew and quilt.

I think that's it! If you're actually interested in reading more, the "About Me" and "Personal Creed" pages are linked to under my title banner.

Incredibly Encouraging Posts

2010-04-26T22:41:00.001-05:00

I seem to have been reading quite a few posts today as I catch up from my weekend internet hiatus that have just made me stop and have to catch my breath. It's as if some of these ladies have been reading my mind and put into articulate, lovely words what I can only stutter out at times. Here's are five that I've found especially encouraging:

Ideas of Home - At the Well

How you view your home and its purpose can really affect your attitude about being there!

Life on the fringe - Large Family Mothering

How just staying at home can put a woman on the outskirts of society...

Why a Schoolteacher is Quitting Her Job and Homeschooling - Ladies Against Feminism

A wonderful summary of key reasons Christians should chose home-schooling as their mode of education

As the Family Goes, So Goes Civilization - Generation Cedar

Why feminism is so dangerous: because it's taking our families apart from the inside out, and the government is only too happy to step in to raise our kids.

Glorious - Pursuing Titus 2

One blogger's confession about sitting in judgement on the lost of this world

The Grace of Adoption - A Tranquil Heart

Family history is not just physical....

A Long Time in the Making

2010-04-21T15:02:00.002-05:00

When I was around 10 years old or so, my mom went through this cross-stitching phase. Being the good little home-school daughter I was, I went through a cross-stitching phase as well. I started a baby bib that had little X'ed images of baby animals in Noah's Ark, but never got past the pink and some of the yellow stitching. Why anyone would ever let their infant wear a bib which they spent upwards of 20 hours working on I'll never know, but that was the project I chose.

My attention span was short, and the project was put away for over 10 years. While I was at home last Christmas, my mom and I did some organizing, and I re-discovered the bib. Of course I set about finishing it, and yesterday, it was finally complete.

Here's the bib. I did the little hearts, the pink in the animals, and about half of the yellow rainbow stripe when I was little. The rest I've done since Christmas.

You can really tell the difference in the stitching on the back. Apparently I thought it was okay to jump from one section to another of the same color. And what's up with all that yellow thread? Anyway, I hope you can tell the difference between what I did when I was little and what I did now!

It's not the highest quality little thing, and who knows if my babies will ever wear it, but I'm glad it's done, and now I'm inspired to continue cross-stitching once again! :)

My Story: Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places, Part 1

2010-04-19T19:40:00.001-05:00

This is going to be a difficult post to write. Some of the hurts I brought upon myself during this time still ache at the thought of them. Some of the people I was with I still have contact with in some way. I have forgiven these young men, and I'm pretty sure I have forgiven myself, but both parties were guilty of trespassing each other's hearts and God's Law, and so my words might be harsh at times as I hope to show you through my own life that no matter where you are, Christ's love is better than the love of any man, and He can heal your wounds and restore you to purity in Him. I pray that what I write will not be a pity-party or a "blame the ex-boyfriend" session, but an honest look at where the romantic mistakes I made in high school got me, and how they're still affecting me today. So, I'll just start at the beginning....

Freshman Year

I'll just admit it: Before Trevvor and I began our relationship, I was a bit of a flirt. Okay, not just a bit, I was a major flirt.

It really began in ninth grade when I suddenly realized the power and control I had over the poor high school guys around me when I did or said certain things. A friendly hug here, a winning smile there... an "innocent" yet slightly suggestive comment today, a playful yet inviting laugh tomorrow... and I slowly learned the feminine art of flirting.

I "dated" a couple of guys that year, and I lost my first kiss to a guy I broke up with a few weeks later. They were short-term, high-emotion, but luckily low-s*xuality relationships, yet they were enough to whet my appetite for inappropriate male attention. After I was baptized that February, the majority of my [conscious] flirting was quelled... for a little while.

Sophomore Year

As I got to know the guys in my home-school group during my sophomore year, I started flirting again, but I justified it as "not that bad" because, well, they were home-school guys, so they wouldn't actually try anything! Heh. Right.

The second semester of that year, I met a young home-schooled man who was volunteering in the same children's museum as I was. We role-played historical characters (I was the Statue of Liberty) along with several other people for elementary and middle schoolers--but we were the only young folks. This program lasted for about three months, and during that time, this young man and I found several opportunities to become physically involved. As is the way with physical intimacy, each time you share it with a guy, you'll end up sharing a little more with the next guy.. and a little more with the next.. and so on. By today's standards we didn't "do much," but it was another step on this dangerous road I was on.

Our "relationship" didn't go very far. On the last day of the program he told me it wasn't going to work, and that was that. I was heart-broken. I sobbed for hours that day, and the next. I sobbed myself to sleep for night after night for quite some time, ironically even longer than we'd ever been romantically involved! I was making the habit of basing my self-esteem, my self-worth, on the "love" and attention from guys--a habit that would be a long time in forming.

Junior Year

As I was getting over this guy, I was fast becoming close friends with a young man in my home-school group. We flirted occasionally, but for the most part everything was on the up and up. We truly were good friends, and greatly enjoyed each other's company and conversation. As junior year began and progressed, things began to change, ever so subtly.

I was planning a fancy dinner for my 17th birthday at a local dining club. I'd only invited a few close friends, and this young man was one of them. I made sure his name-card was beside mine, and flirted my little heart out all evening. Dinner was followed by some ball-room dancing, and before I knew it, this young man was asking me out! He hastily left before I could respond, but I was so excited! He was one of my best friends, he was a godly young man, and he was handsome to boot... and he liked me!

A month or so passed as we talked things over, and he approached my parents to ask if he could court me. We had three fun months together with very little physical contact, and we felt pretty good about ourselves. Look at us being a Christian couple, just holding hands! We weren't dating, we were courting. We were doing things the "Joshua Harris" way--nothing could go wrong!

Then Valentine's Day came, and after our first declarations of love came our first kiss. Well, you see where this is going. Over the rest of the school year we became increasingly more intimate. We justified it, though, because we just knew we were going to get married "someday." We loved each other! Of course we would get married! We talked about it some, and my heart was set on it. Believing this, I was willing to give up more and more physically. (And, in our mild defense, even now I do believe that we were sincere in our love, immature and inappropriate though it was. Not that this justifies our actions at all, but rather it is a warning that no matter how sincere you are, God's best is for you to not give yourself to each other at all before the wedding night, because His thoughts are not our thoughts, and His ways are not our ways, and you never know if that man is the man He has for you until "I do.")

A summer mostly apart didn't help, as it merely increased our desire. Absence surely does make the heart grow fonder! As the months passed, so did more of our innocence. I just knew he was the one God had picked for me!

To be continued....

Vision Forum Affiliation

2010-04-14T09:08:00.001-05:00

I am pleased to announce that I am in affiliation with Vision Forum. What that means is that I can promote their products on my blog, Facebook, Twitter, and email, and for any product-purchasing customers that I send their way, I'll get a small percentage of the cost. It doesn't cost the customer any extra, thank goodness. This is my small way of adding a little icing to my husband's income... from home. :)

So if you find yourself in need of some home-schooling materials, encouraging sermons on CD, home-making resources, books with a Christian worldview, etc, etc, then you can use one of my links anywhere around my blog to get to Vision Forum's website. I have a couple banners in the sidebars, and then I have a separate page that has a lot of their best-selling products listed and pictured.

Also, if you decide to become an affiliate yourself, you can join through me! I'm still working the details out on that one, though. Just let me know if you're interested or you have any questions about this whole process.

Jonny Diaz - Stand for You

2010-04-13T12:00:00.000-05:00

I've heard this song playing on Christian radio for several weeks now, and it really resonated with me. I hope it encourages you as well.

So long politics, it's time to start being me
Take the chains off my lips, it's time to set my tongue free
Some might just turn their heads, but some will raise a fist
And You told me to stand, so I won't back down from this

They say there are no absolutes but are they absolutely sure?

In a world that tries to water You down
Where beliefs cannot be spoken too loud
I'll stand for truth
Where they claim Your way isn't wide enough
And they do their best just to cover You up
I'll stand for You

Hello reality, it's time we embrace honesty
Teach me to speak with truth and love and with humility
You made a promise that You're coming back to earth
So how selfish am I if I don't go tell the world?

They say just be sincere but could they all just be sincerely wrong?

In a world that tries to water You down
Where beliefs cannot be spoken too loud
I'll stand for truth
Where they claim Your way isn't wide enough
And they do their best just to cover You up
I'll stand for You

They might remove Your name from money
But You own it all the same
They kicked You out of school, that's funny
'Cause how could You go away?

In a land that's built upon Your word
It's amazing You've been banned
To think that we control You is absurd
So for truth I'm here to stand

In a world that tries to water You down
Where beliefs cannot be spoken too loud
I'll stand for truth
Where they claim Your way isn't wide enough
And they do their best just to cover You up
I'll stand for You

Happy Birthday to my Darling Husband!

2010-04-12T08:00:00.008-05:00

Today is Trevvor's 22nd birthday! I am so very blessed that God gave me to Trevvor to be his wife, help-meet, lover, confidant, best friend, and the mother of his future children (God willing). So I am going to take this post to praise my heaven-sent husband; it is his birthday, after all!

2008 - Carrying a couple of rowing oars at a regatta

Trevvor is a God-fearing young man who seeks the Lord with a passion. He is so knowledgeable in the Scriptures and is willing to change our lives if he realizes that we are not living for God's best. He is constantly striving to be a better spiritual leader for our budding family, often asking for feedback on how he's doing, initiating prayer and study, and leading me in spiritual decisions.

2007 - After he was baptized by my Pop

Trevvor has somehow balanced humble strength and masculine sensitivity. He is strong for both of us when I am weary, but he is not so macho that he cannot share with me what's going on in his head and his heart. His spirit is mighty, yet he cares for even the petty details of my thoughts and feelings.

2009 - The fire-builder on our camping trip

Trevvor is incredibly intelligent, and he is wise beyond his years. He is a National Hispanic Scholar and graduated cum laude from UA--it's so wonderful having a husband who can carry on thoughtful, interesting conversations! His wisdom I noticed not too long after we met; his pensive spirit and the fact that he is quicker to listen than to speak have taught me more than any words. When he does speak, his words are filled with grace and salt, almost always positive and encouraging me and others around him.

2009 - On some ruins in Spain

Trevvor is a good leader. He does not seek out leadership; he is willing to let someone else lead if they are qualified. He would rather encourage and support than lead, but he is always willing to step up when necessary or when asked.

2009 - Rowing as the boat leader

Trevvor's work-ethic amazes me every single day. He is able to work equally with his mind and his body. He always does his best and goes the extra mile, fulfilling his commitment and then some. His "mental" work at his accounting office as an intern has earned him many and continual accolades and praise from his superiors--I am so proud of him! But while he enjoys "office labor," he is also more than willing to put his hands to the task, and he's definitely not afraid to get dirty while building, cleaning, and repairing!

2009 - Before his interview for his job at PricewaterhouseCoopers

Trevvor is an incredible provider for our family. He works hard to "bring home the bacon" and makes sure we have enough, and then some. He is also willing to share what he has earned with the needy of this world--a rare trait these days. But even though he gets the job done, he realizes that his presence in my life is more important than a few extra dollars. He strives to balance work life and home life and not give into the pressure that's on men to work longer hours instead of spending quality time with their families.

2006 - Playing with a big boy toy :)

Trevvor is a man of integrity. He does what he says he will do, even if he has to make a sacrifice of himself. He is honest in his work and in his words; deceit is not known to him. (Though I have a feeling he's answered "no" a few times when he should have said "yes" when I've asked, "Do I look pudgy in this dress?") He is also willing to admit when he is wrong; he is not prideful and seeks forgiveness readily. Not only does he seek forgiveness, he grants it without hesitation, often even before I ask.

2008 - Studying while Mom and I wedding-plan

Trevvor is my buddy. He plays with me, jokes with me, and laughs with me. He keeps no secrets from me, nor I from him. He confides in me, and asks my advice. He does special things just for me, whether it's an ice-cream date or a foot-rub. He would rather spend time with me than with anyone else, and I feel the same!

2010 - Cuddling our kitties

Trevvor loves me unconditionally. He listens to me, cares for me, protects me, and provides for me. He is willing to make sacrifices for me, and usually I'm not even aware that he's made them until after the fact! He tells me often how much he loves me and how he thinks I'm beautiful. He constantly shows his gratitude towards me and affirms me as a wife. He carefully considers my requests, and is more apt to say "yes" than "no" unless he truly believes it would not be the best for us. He is just as excited about being a father someday as I am about being a mother. And of course, he's pretty handsome on top of all of that!

2008 - Watching me walk down the aisle

Trevvor is not perfect, but he is the perfect man for me.
Thank you, Father, for this husband that You blessed me with!

Impressions

2010-04-09T16:13:00.000-05:00

It has been interesting to take note of the reactions people have to me. I certainly leave an impression: I'm kind of an oddball in our college town, and it's hard not to notice the curious glances or the outright stares, either at my long skirts, my coverings, or both. I can only pray that my appearance glorifies not myself, but rather my God. I want to be a beacon pointing the way up to my Lord, and it is always encouraging when I get unintended feedback that shows me that, by the grace of God, I am at least partially successful in this goal.

Last week I had an encounter with our neighbor who lives in the apartment across the hall from us. This family moved in about two months ago and they have two small children. Last Tuesday, the wife and I met each other in the hallway, about to enter our respective homes, when she struck up a conversation with me. After a couple comments about the weather, she asked me where Trevvor and I went to church. "We could tell y'all are religious, and we're new to the area." She seemed fairly eager to visit our church with us, and I gladly invited her to come whenever they could. I left a note with times and information on it, as well as my phone number. I haven't heard from her again, but it's nice to know that rather than intimidating her with my covered appearance, she was rather drawn to it, recognizing that we were followers of Christ.

This week, one of my fifth grade girls that I work with twice a week started talking to me as we walked back to her classroom. She said, "You know, when I first met you, I thought you were a Jesus freak or something," (she herself is Mormon).
I countered, "Who says I'm not?" with a wink. Then more soberly, "We're just not supposed to bring it up in school. But what made you think that?"
"Well, I know other people who wear skirts, but they wear theirs up here," and she made a gesture with her hands a little below her hips, indicating that she was referring to mini-skirts.
How encouraging it is to know that God used me to make an impression on her young mind that the world's way is not the only way!

I pray often that I do not dress as I do in order to get attention for myself. I pray that those who see me will recognize what these two ladies did, that I am dressing this way in order to serve Christ and point people towards Him!

Consuming or Contentment?

2010-04-07T15:21:00.000-05:00

The conflict of my life has always been between the path to materialism & worldly success and the path to simplicity & a life for God's glory.
In high school and early college, I wanted to go to grad school, have this great degree and some high profile career that would "make the best use" of my mental abilities and earn me accolades amongst my peers. I would have this great house in a nice city with a cool car and the latest gadgets.
But at the same time, I longed for the day when I could be like my home-schooling mother and stay at home with 3 or 4 children, leading a simple life.
Obviously, God has shown me that my path as a woman of His is this latter option, but the call of material"stuff" is still strong on me even now.

My husband and I don't want to be unthinking participants in our consumer-driven society. We want our home to be a place of production, not of consumption (though what we would produce we have yet to figure out). We want to work towards being self-sustaining as much as possible. We want to be content with what we have rather than seeking out the latest styles or gadgets. These things will never fill the void in our souls that is meant to be filled only by the Lord. We want to get to a point where we can ask the question, "Will this thing bring me closer to God?" with every purchase we make. We want to get back to the old adage from WWII: "Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without!"

Maybe this sort of simple lifestyle seems extreme, but for most of history it would have been the norm for the vast majority of Earth's population. Yes, there has always been a focus on gain, and people have always struggled with being content with what they have. But so many people had so little, yet they survived. Their families were centers of production rather than consumption. Children were more than just another mouth to feed, they were future aids in the family's vision of sustainability.

So all of this ramble to say...

I'm thinking of having a "no-buy" season, where I take a few months (probably the summer) and make myself not buy any non-consumable items. Obviously, I'll still be buying things like groceries, toilet paper, and cleaning supplies, but clothing and household gadgets I'll have to do without. (Trevvor is all for the idea, haha. I think that's the hint that I've been spending too much....) I'm not quite brave enough to have a "no-buy year," but we'll see how the season goes. I'll let you know when I actually start it and keep you updated.

God and Babies

2010-04-01T21:46:00.000-05:00

As most of you readers know, Trevvor and I are hoping to have children (either of our own or through adoption) within the next year or two. I've been having to get some medical stuff worked out with my thyroid, though, and since I posted that originally, my cousin made the following point:

"So are you really leaving your family size up to God when you're taking thyroid medicine so you can have kids?"

That got me thinking (as many off-handed comments from friends and family seem to do). What does it mean to leave your family size up to God? Trevvor and I believe that it means that you should not try to hinder conception and that you should not try to have children by invasive "playing God" means, such as IVF.

But what about medical treatments like my thyroid medication? Is fixing my thyroid interfering with God's plan for us to have (or not have) children?

First of all, I just want to say that us tiny little mortals can't "mess up" God's plans. His Will will be done, whether it is our will our not. We can, however, submit our will to His, and in fact we are called to do this.

Now for the issue at hand. Let's look at an example. If a woman is told by her doctor that she is too thin to conceive a child/carry one to term, should she say, "Oh well, I guess God doesn't want me to have kids"? I don't believe that is the case. Her body is unhealthy--in this case, too thin--and she should do what she is able to regain her health. It is not that she is physically incapable of conceiving/carrying a child, but at this point in time she is not healthy enough to do so.

If she then gains enough weight and they realize that she has a problem which will only allow her to conceive/carry a child via IVF, then I believe that if she and her husband have a desire for children, they should pray for healing while looking into adoption (at least that's what we would do).

My thyroid problem is making me unhealthy. It is messing up other bodily systems besides my ability to conceive, though that is a side-effect. As far as I know, I am physically able to conceive and carry a child, but at this point in time, I am not healthy enough to do so, and I need to do what I can to regain my health. For me, this means taking medication to help my thyroid do its job.

Other couples might not come to this same conclusion. Some people might say that Trevvor and I have drawn an arbitrary line. However, as for us, we believe that if God does not mean for us to have children of our own, then making my body healthy will not change that. Being as healthy as I can be to prepare for carrying a baby is not interfering with God's Will for our lives.

The Vision Forum Father & Daughter Retreat

2010-03-30T15:56:00.002-05:00

I had a blessed time at the Father & Daughter Retreat that my dad and I went to last weekend. It was at Callaway Gardens in Georgia and it was sponsored by Vision Forum, a ministry that Trevvor and I have come to respect more and more over the past months for speaking the Truth of God even when it's not politically correct.

On Friday afternoon there were games on the lawn (which we sadly missed), followed by a picnic and an ice-cream social. Afterwards was our first session, which wrapped up about 10:30.

The next session was bright and early Saturday morning, followed by High Tea on the patio. It was lovely! Daddy and I are both fans of hot tea, and the food was delicious. :) We were at a table with the father and two of the daughters of one of the founding families of the retreat, so it was wonderful learning more about its history. The other father at our table had four of his five daughters with him, and the youngest one there was about five. She sat by me, so I had fun "playing mommy" and helping her get her tea and food.

The afternoon consisted of walking the garden and talking, and then getting dinner. We ate at a Cracker Barrel-like restaurant with one of the several Rebeccas I met and her father. It was a lovely time of fellowship! After that, we returned to the convention center for several more talks, a question-and-answer panel, and then bed!

Sunday morning after breakfast we had a worship service and then the retreat wrapped up. We said our good-byes before heading home.

Speakers included Doug Phillips, Scott Brown, Geoff Botkin, and Anna Sophia and Elizabeth Botkin. They were all wonderful, though if I had to pick my favorite topic I would say it was Scott Brown's discussion on the Proverbs 31 woman. There'll most likely be a future blog post based on that, haha.

The retreat was somewhat emotional for both my daddy and myself. We've had a rocky relationship for years. See, we're both stubborn and prideful, and we both have very strong opinions. The problem is, we've often had different strong opinions, so that's caused some clashes. Neither one of us have followed God's words of direction for parents and children very well, and so the retreat was a refreshing breath of air into our relationship. And--I'll just admit it--I was pretty spoiled growing up, so my rebellion towards my father was rarely quelled by discipline.

Now I am married. I am no longer under my father's headship, but rather I'm joyfully under my husband's authority. This made the retreat a little interesting as it was directed at unmarried daughters who are still under their fathers, and so all I could do at times was simply regret the way I'd treated him while still at home. I rarely aided my father's vision; instead, I did everything I could at times to stay as far away from it as possible! My heart was elsewhere, and I can't go back now and change that.

There are some things that I can change, however. Even though I'm not under his headship, I am commanded to respect and honor him by God as my father and my elder. It doesn't matter whether he "deserves" my respect or not. What he does should not effect how I respect and honor him: that's between me and my Lord, and only I will be held accountable if I have not thought of and treated my father as God has commanded me to. The retreat continuously reminded me of this, for I have generally fallen short here, oh so often.

But it wasn't only the speakers who encouraged me towards being a godly daughter. It was all of the daughters I saw around me. I have never seen a group of such godly young women! Most of them were teenagers, but some of the girls were as young as six or seven. I didn't meet any other married daughters, but there were a couple who were around my age. It was so refreshing just to look at these girls: their modesty and femininity was evident in both their appearance and their attitudes.

In fact, these younger girls convicted me of my shortcomings just by being. They're so much younger, yet they are so much more spiritually mature than I was at their age, and in some cases even than I am now! Not only were they modest and feminine, but so many of them exuded that gentle and quiet spirit that so many women desire. Their conversation was tempered with wisdom, and I couldn't help but compare the track of my "default" chit-chat to theirs. Sure, I sound all wise on my blog (sometimes), but in conversation I have a long way to go before my words are tempered with salt and grace.

I loved meeting these girls. Many names and emails were exchanged, to my delight. And I actually got to meet one of my fellow bloggers: Rebecca of "By His Grace and for His Glory" (pictured above)! Actually, I met several Rebeccas. :) Hopefully more pictures will be posted soon, but I ended up just letting my daddy use his camera instead of using both, so this is one of the only pictures I have. But as you girls who were there know, my daddy has plenty! ;)