"Why Ron Paul?" by Voddie Baucham

Voddie, because I have a great respect for you and your opinion I would really like to know why you are voting for Ron Paul ? I have not liked some of the things I have heard him say and I am wondering if I missed something?" -Pamela Wolfe (via Facebook Fan Page)

Since posting a passing comment on my Facebook fan page about Ron Paul, I have been inundated with questions and concerns about my support of the Texas Congressman in the current Republican Primary race. In one of my many political posts (frequently, I post videos, news articles, etc., in an effort to show the importance and influence of worldview), I simply stated that I voted for Dr. Paul in the last election, and planned to vote for him again.

The result was hundreds of comments; more than any other post I’ve ever submitted. Most of the comments were positive. However, several were extremely negative. Some vowed never to follow, or support my ministry any further, while others simply communicated their dismay. Still others, like today's questioner, just asked honest questions. As a result, I’ve decided to explain my position, and this seemed like the best place to do it.

Let me say ahead of time that I do not believe that politics will save America. Nor do I believe there are any perfect candidates. There never have been, and there never will be. Moreover, it is not my goal to answer every objection to the Paul candidacy as I know that there are those who, for various reasons, will not be persuaded, and more importantly, that’s not my job. My goal here is to offer insight in to my own reasoning as I wade through another political season and make a personal choice.

I. Ron Paul is a Christian Conservative

While I am not looking for a “Pastor-in-Chief,” it is important to me that the man for whom I cast my vote be a Christian, if at all possible. And though I recognize that there is not always a clear Christian choice (i.e., the 2008 election), I agree with Chief Justice John Jay who wrote, “Providence has given to our people the choice of their rulers, and it is the duty as well as the privilege and interest of our Christian nation to select and prefer Christians for their rulers."[1] For indeed, “Before any man can be considered as a member of Civil Society, he must be considered as a subject of the Governour of the Universe.”[2] John Witherspoon concurs: “Those, therefore, who pay no regard to religion and sobriety in the persons whom they send to [public office] are guilty of the greatest absurdity and will soon pay dear for their folly.”[3] I think we are seeing this on display right now.[4]

My desire is not to see a president who will usurp the authority, responsibilities, or privileges of the Church. However, I do not wish to see those things hindered either. I also want to know that the foundational ideology motivating a man’s decisions is biblical. I know it will not always mirror my own, but I trust God’s word, and appreciate those who look to it for aid in making decisions. To that end, I support Dr. Paul because he is not just a conservative, but a Christian Conservative.

Dr. Paul does not beat his Christian faith like a drum in his public/political life. Unfortunately, that is off-putting for the “Christian Right”. However, in a world full of ‘posturing’ in an effort to win over evangelicals, I find Paul’s public demeanor refreshing. And it is not as though he is a ‘closet Christian,’ either. “I have accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Savior, and I endeavor every day to follow Him in all I do and in every position I advocate,” wrote Paul on his Web site.[5] I have also had the privilege of talking with both him, and one of his five children about his faith and how it influences his policy positions.

Nevertheless, the more important aspect is the fact that this Southern Baptist (raised Lutheran) is a regular church attender. What would motivate a man to attend church, but not beat a drum about it in an effort to win over evangelicals in an age when political figures play at Christianity (while living totally contradictory lives, and holding heterodox beliefs) in order to assuage the fears of the Christian Right? Having met and talked to Dr. Paul, I would say it is authenticity, and humility more than anything else. He wants “to avoid any appearance of exploiting [his faith] for political gain.”[6]

II. Ron Paul is a Constitutional Conservative

Not only is Ron Paul a Christian Conservative; he is also a Constitutional Conservative. He holds himself accountable to the Constitution of the United States, even when it means he has to vote against legislation that may be otherwise beneficial. This has cost him on numerous occasions as people use the “Ron Paul voted against so-and-so” tactic to paint a caricature of him and play “gotcha” politics.
This is actually an important quality in a President. I don’t want a man in the White House making decisions based on what “feels” right. I’m not looking for a conscientious King; I want a Chief Executive. I want a man whose decisions are predictable because of a long track record of constitutional conservatism. I may not always agree with a man like that, but I will always know why he did what he did, and I can live with that. Especially in several crucial areas facing our Republic, like money, war, States’ Rights, and foreign policy, for example.

Constitutional Money

I support Ron Paul because he has a constitutional view of money. He is the only candidate consistently to confront the Federal Reserve Bank (which is not federal, has no reserves, and is not a bank), and address the issue of fiat currency (a.k.a. unjust weights and measures; Lev 19:36; Prov 16:11), which debases the dollar, manipulates business cycles, creates inflation, and always benefits the rich at the expense of the poor and disenfranchised. And he talks about the issue in just those terms.

Congressman Paul is also the only candidate who has a budget that will cut a TRILLION DOLLARS in spending in year one.[7] He is the only candidate who has committed to defund and eliminate expensive, unconstitutional agencies. This is crucial for a country headed for an economic cliff. Our debt is larger than our GDP and we simply must address it NOW (Luke 14:28)! This is arguably the most important issue we face, and while others want to tinker with the status quo, Dr. Paul wants to do the hard thing; the right thing; the biblical thing; the constitutional thing.

Constitutional War

I support Ron Paul because he is a military veteran (yup... he refuses to beat that drum too, which is why you may not have known that little tidbit). And though I do not believe it is necessary for a man to have served in the military for him to serve as President, the fact that Congressman Paul knows and hates war lends credibility to his desire and commitment to ending the wars and bringing our troops home. Moreover, he has a constitutional understanding of war (only Congress can send us to war), and a Christian commitment to historic Just War Theory (rooted in the Sixth Commandment... HIS WORDS).[8] He, unlike other candidates, can be counted on not to commit to acts of war without congressional authority (i.e., unilaterally deciding to bomb a sovereign nation if they advance their weapons technology in a region several thousand miles away from the U.S., under the watchful eye of a nation with over 300 nukes who can stop them in a heartbeat... but I digress).

There is a reason Dr. Paul has received more support from members of the military than all other candidates (Republican and Democrat) COMBINED! The top three employers of Ron Paul’s donors are the U.S. Army, Navy, and Air Force, respectively. Dr. Paul will not use our military to hunt down and overthrow heads of state without Congressional authority (i.e., Libya), kill American citizens without warrant,[9] detain citizens indefinitely without benefit of a trial,[10] or chase warlords in central Africa.[11] When it comes to war, Dr. Paul understands that, “Whoever meddles in a quarrel not his own is like one who takes a passing dog by the ears.” (Proverbs 26:17)

Constitutional States’ Rights

I support Ron Paul because he not only understands, but believes in the Tenth Amendment. I know many Christians have been scared off by the “Ron Paul wants to legalize drugs, gay marriage, and abortion” rhetoric. However, looking beyond the rhetoric reveals Paul’s true constitutional conservatism (and biblical understanding of jurisdiction). He has personal convictions, but those will not be allowed to steer him away from his constitutional oath. The presidency, and the Federal Government have limits.

The President is not “Pastor in Chief.” It is not the President’s job (or the job of the Federal Government) to set such policies. The “War on Drugs,” for example, has been a monumental, unconstitutional, fiscal failure (to the tune of more than $3 BILLION)![12] The Federal Government must be held within the confines of its enumerated powers. This is important for Christians because we will not always have people in the White House with whom we agree (in fact, politicians will always let us down). What happens when we send a man to the White House with the express purpose of “changing the moral standards” of America in our favor, then, down the line we have a president who uses the same un-cheked powers to promote moral standards with which we disagree? How’s that workin’ for ya’?

But what about the moral issues to which we, as Christians, must speak? First, we must speak to them at the local level. I have no right to look to Washington, D.C. for remedies when I am not preaching on Mars Hill at every opportunity. The Roe v. Wade, for example, started in Texas; not D.C.. Furthermore, there is not a single institution more prolific in the spread of moral decay than the government education system, and Ron Paul is the only man who plans to get the federal government out of that business by ending the (unconstitutional) Department of Education IMMEDIATELY (Luke 6:40).

Beyond that, if there are issues we wish to address on a federal level, we have a federal remedy, and it is not the election of a President; it is the amendment process. This is less favorable to those who do not wish to do the hard work of changing hearts and minds in the marketplace of ideas. However, the alternative is a quasi-monarchy (or oligarchy) that changes with the wind, and a view of the presidency that is both unbiblical and unconstitutional.

Constitutional Foreign Policy

I support Ron Paul because he has a constitutional view of foreign policy. Ironically, our foreign policy has been so unconstitutional for so long that many people recoil at the idea of getting it back in line. Moreover, the semantic game Paul’s opponents play (using “isolationism” as opposed to “non-intervention” to define his position) doesn’t help. For most Christians, this is where they believe I’ve left the reservation. They may not say, “We have to be the world’s police force,” but I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard, “Do you know his position on Israel?” “Surely you can’t support a man who doesn’t support Israel!”

Actually, nothing could be further from the truth. Ron Paul does support Israel. It is our current foreign policy that does not support Israel! However, there is a deeper issue here. There is a sort of misplaced Dispensationalism that governs people’s sentimental attitude toward Israel. Let me state clearly that I do not believe the Bible demands that the U.S. support Israel. I do, however, believe that it is wise to do so for geopolitical reasons. To do so for theological reasons, I believe, is actually misguided, and quite dangerous. Nevertheless, Israel is our only true ally in the Middle East, and that is important.

But there’s a more important question: “What does it mean to “support” Israel?” Does it mean that Israel remains God’s “Chosen People,” and we must stand with them in anticipation of the coming Armageddon? Is the President to act as “Commander in Chief of the United States Armed Forces” and “Supreme Defender of Israel”? Or are we simply to make sure the foreign aid dollars don’t stop flowing? Here are a few things I took into to consideration in evaluating Congressman Paul’s foreign policy.

1. Israel is the most powerful nation in the Middle East... BY A LONG SHOT! In fact, Israel could potentially defeat all the other military powers in the Middle East simultaneously if they had to.
2. We not only give money to Israel; we give money to their enemies as well. That is not supporting Israel! That is using money to buy influence in a region thousands of miles away from us in the name of oil, when we happen to have the largest repository of oil on planet earth right here in the US, but refuse to go and get it (in the name of Earth-worshipping environmentalism)!
3. Israel is a sovereign nation, and we have no right to treat her like a child. Our foreign aid has been a tool used to influence Israel’s domestic policy for far too long. If we are their friends, we should allow them to exercise their sovereignty without our interference, and certainly without our condemnation. Who do we think we are? No, I disagree with my Christian brothers and sisters who think a country who supports Israel’s enemies, interferes with Israel’s domestic policy, condemn’s Israel in efforts to keep ties with oil-rich countries in the region, and helps to destabilize and radicalize one of Israel’s historic foes lurking on her southern boarder is engaging in a foreign policy that supports Israel.

III. Ron Paul is a Consistent Conservative

Finally, I support Dr. Paul because he has been a consistent conservative. He has been married to the same woman for more than fifty years; delivered over 4,000 babies as an OB; never performed a single abortion; has never voted for an unbalanced budget, a tax increase, or a bailout; forecasted the economic debacle long before it happened;[13] and gave back $140,000 last year through his office to pay down the national debt (100,000 in 2010). This man is so principled that he refuses to claim his congressional pension!

Ron Paul is the real deal. He is not perfect. He needs a savior just like you and I do (as noted by his trust in Christ as his redeemer). But when it’s all said and done, he is a man with whom I agree in principle. I know where he’s coming from, and it’s not based on his “personal story,” or his sense of what’s going to get him elected. It’s the same thing he’s been running on (and governing from) for over three decades; the Constitution of the United States (viewed through the lens of a basic biblical world and life view). And I’m glad to support a man like that.

We Support Ron Paul!

This isn't a political blog, per se, but I'd imagine that for the next, oh, 11 months or so you might see a few posts concerning the presidential election.  For some reason, this is something I'm rather passionate about (as many of you who are my Facebook friends may have realized).

So, just for the record, my husband Trevvor and I support Ron Paul for president.  He is consistent (current clips of him speaking might as well be re-plays of clips from 20 years ago..minus the gray hair), he is morally conservative (though he recognizes the boundaries of letting personal belief dictate your actions as president), he is submissive to the Constitution (a trait missing from BOTH sides of the aisle), and he flat-out makes sense.  We first noticed him back in 2008 when we realized that he was the most ardent supporter of home-schooling of all the candidates at the time, and as far as I can tell he still is.  We started doing our research and realized that he is also on the right side of most of the other issues dear to our hearts as well.  You can read about those issues here: Ron Paul: The Issues. I would encourage you to research these things for yourself and not let the media (whether it is WORLD magazine or NPR) paraphrase this incredible man.

Incidentally, Ron Paul is consistently the "highest scorer" on all of Vision Forum's "Constitutional Report Cards" that they issue after each primary debate.

I don't want to spend a huge amount of time discussing RP's stands on various issues--he does that himself on his website.  But I do want to address the question of his electability, which many--even those who agree with him--seem to doubt.
The question I'm most often asked is this:  "Is Ron Paul electable?"  I would answer with a resounding "YES!"  His most difficult challenge will be getting through the primaries, but after a third-place finish in Iowa, a second-place finish in New Hampshire, and being one of only two candidates on Virginia's ballot, I'd say he has a pretty good shot at doing just fine there too.  Once he is the nominated candidate for the GOP, I believe that he can conquer Obama with relative ease for three reasons.

1) The vast majority of Republicans will vote for ANYONE in order to ensure Obama never sees a second term.  (And once Ron Paul's message is honestly communicated to the masses, they'd vote for him anyway!)
2) Ron Paul, because of his reliance on the Constitution in all matters, has a bipartisan appeal of which the other Republican candidates can only dream.  This will draw away morally conservative Democrats from Obama's voting base that would never vote for a Republican otherwise (even if they don't like Obama).
3) So after all the Republicans and a chunk of the Democrats, Ron Paul would also bring with him A) Independent and Libertarian voters that would otherwise vote for a third-party candidate & B) an overwhelming number of young voters that would be apathetic about this election were Ron Paul not in the race.  Dr. Paul is a veritable rock star on college campi across the nation.  (On this note:  If Ron Paul is not the Republican candidate, Obama stands in a much better position to win because the GOP would lose the third-party voting base and the young folks, possibly even to Obama himself.)

So, that's my political spiel.  In conclusion, vote for Ron Paul (but only after you have done the research for yourself)!

My infertility interview over at "Pursuing Titus 2"

Hey y'all!  Just wanted to let you know that my dear blog friend Andrea is doing a great series on infertility as it relates to the "Quiverfull" movement.  (If you don't know what that is, it's basically what Trevvor and I believe:  babies are a blessing all the time.)  She's interviewing several of us ladies who struggle with fertility but who are Quiverfull advocates, and she posted mine a couple of days ago.

You can find my interview here:
Viewing the Quiverfull World Through the Lens of Infertility:  Part II

While you're there, check out her other posts too.  Her blog is an absolute wealth of wisdom concerning marriage, children, modesty, and just general Christian living.  One of her posts that most convicted me was "A Movement is not a Messiah."  Boy, is that something I struggle with or what!  (See, I said it so that none of you would feel like you needed to point it out!)

Simply Smaller

In March, Trevvor and I bought a house.  It has three bedrooms and two bathrooms.  It has a living room as well as a basement den.  There is a one-car garage, which is currently housing unneeded stuff rather than one of our two cars.  It is a whopping 1300 square foot home with a spacious yard in which we spend way more time mowing than playing.  It is the biggest home we have ever had, the first we have ever owned.  It's beautiful, and it's in a safe, convenient neighborhood to boot.

But after a few months... we've started to get restless.  We still love the house.  We are so grateful for this wonderful place to live.  But we look around us and we see... too much.  Too much space, too much stuff, too much time & money caring for all that space & stuff.  We realize that we have WAY more than we "need" for just the two of us, even for the three or four of us when, Lord willing, we begin having children.  We see that--not only do we have so, so much more than most of the world's population--we are so tied down by what we have we are quite limited in what we can do to help those who have less than ourselves.

We see that our weekends are taken up by cleaning, repairing, maintaining, and spending money on our house and yard.  We can't do the things we want to do because of the responsibilities and expenses that come with owning such a large home filled with possessions.  

Now, don't get me wrong, if we had 4+ kids, we could more easily justify this time and expense.  But it's probably going to be quite a while until we have those kids, and in the meantime, we can't enjoy being "just the two of us" as much, we can't save as much for our future, and most importantly, we can't invest as much in God's kingdom.

And so, while we're reluctant to move again (though we're beginning to believe that we're nomads at heart), we have been considering our options.

At first, we considered a "tiny house" from the Tumbleweed Tiny House Company.  We LOVE these houses, and if it weren't for our five "fur-babies," we would consider this option even more seriously.  It has everything you need: a place to prepare food and eat, a bathroom, a place to sleep, and more storage space than you would expect.  Oh, and it's mobile.  For us, that seems to be pretty important.  But four inside cats and two people in 130+ square feet doesn't seem practical.

Just for laughs I'll tell you that Trevvor also suggested living in a tent. Not the weekend-camping-trip sort of tent, but a semi-permanent canvas dwelling.  I seriously thought about it for a few minutes, but the fur-babies also put a damper on that plan.  Trevvor was disappointed, but surprised I'd even taken a moment to consider rather than flatly refusing. (NB: They can be much bigger than the picture shows.)

We've also considered moving back to an apartment, but Trevvor says we would be hit with taxes for selling house without buying another one, and then there is the need for a yard for Dune.  Still an option though, because after all, with a 30 year mortgage we're pretty much throwing our money away on interest for the first umpteen years....

What we're currently considering is selling our home and buying a smaller house on a smaller lot.  We're thinking either a 2 bed/1 bath or even a 1 bed/1 bath on a lot with just enough room for Dune and a small garden.  We're looking for a cottage- or bungalow-style that is well-built with maybe a few cosmetic needs.  The idea is to put our home on the market after the holidays and see what happens, praying all the way.

We don't want to seem ungrateful, and we know a lot of people do/will think we're nuts.  Downsize?  From a perfectly acceptable 1300 square foot house that we just bought??  Yeah, it seems pretty crazy.  And maybe it is.  But we want to be free to give and free to save.  We want to be free from our stuff, all this stuff that we rarely use.  We don't want to store up our treasures on Earth.

Jesus said to him, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.” But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions. 

- Matthew 19:21-22 

Tired of Trying

I've decided that the hardest part of trying to conceive is that two-week-wait after ovulation and before you can test for pregnancy.  It's not the medication, it's not the well-meaning people that say hurtful things, it's not the "timed baby dancing," it's not my friends getting pregnant all around me, it's not even finding out I didn't ovulate--it's that wait.  Because when I don't ovulate, I know for sure:  there will be no baby this month.  And I can move on.  But when I do ovulate, and "things" were timed seemingly just right--as they were a couple of weeks ago--those two weeks are nearly unbearable.

So the past 18 or so days I've been talking myself into being pregnant, and then minutes later talking myself out of it again:

"Hey, I sure am tired..." then "Well, I did stay up late last night after all."

"Wow, am I more hungry than usual or what?" then "I have been working out more this week."

"Ugh, this chicken sure smells funny and it's usually great..." then "Well maybe it's just a funky batch."

And finally, "I'm feeling pretty crampy...is that early pregnancy or PMS??"

But when my basal body temperature dropped back down to my coverline this morning--almost right on schedule--I knew, and I silently cried.  Now I have only to wait for my period to actually start to confirm things, and that silly little voice of the Thing with Feathers is in my head saying, "Wait!  Don't give up yet!"  But I know, somehow, that Hope's promises are false.

I'm tired, y'all, and I'm discouraged.  I'm tired of taking medication, timing the baby dance, tracking my BBT, over-analyzing every little twinge or sensation.  It's emotionally exhausting.  We've been trying for over two years, and though I know there are many couples who have tried much longer, two years is feeling like a long, long time.  

I'm tired of watching so many friends who have been married for less than half the time we've been trying to have a baby get pregnant all around us.  (Facebook is NOT my friend.)  I try to rejoice with them, and for their sakes' I am happy, but I have to admit it causes me pain in the most selfish, fallen part of my heart. 

Those nagging questions come back again, taunting me with my past and present sins and struggles, saying "No wonder they're pregnant and you're not, you horrible excuse for a Christian," and "You're worthless, woman: you can't even fulfill the most basic function of your existence."  I'm tired of having to fight those lies so constantly.

I'm tired of having much-loved and well-meaning individuals (some of whom use birth control, ironically--but that's another post) remind me that "God's timing is perfect" or "God will bless you when He's ready" or "the Lord has a plan."  All of these are true and good statements, and I feel like that horrible excuse for a Christian when I have the urge to glare at their speakers.  But I've had so many people tell me these things so many times that I now feel like they are just saying them so that they don't have to deal with my pain head-on--they can pass it off to God, okay, they've done their duty, now I'm supposed to feel better.  Guess what?  I appreciate the thought and all, but I don't feel better.  Just say (and mean) "I'm so sorry.  I'll pray for you."  That is all I need.

So now what?  Do I just give up?  Do I keep trying, timing, hoping?  The only thing I know to do is keep praying, but how will I know when God answers me?

The Sailors' Folly

Then they said to him, "What shall we do to you, that the sea may quiet down for us?"  For the sea grew more and more tempestuous.  He said to them, "Pick me up and hurl me into the sea; then the sea will quiet down for you, for I know it is because of me that this great tempest has come upon you."  Nevertheless, the men rowed hard to get back to dry land, but they could not, for the sea grew more and more tempestuous against them. (Jonah 1:11-13, emphasis mine)

When I was reading this passage this morning, I couldn't help but notice that, so often, I am these sailors.  God says, "Let go of the oars.  To get to safety, to reach salvation, you must rely on My strength, you must follow My commands, you must submit your life to Me."

But I reply, "No, Lord!  I can do this on my own!  I can reach You without relying on You!  I can find salvation with my own ideas; I don't need Your commands!"

Put that way, doesn't it sound absurd?  Yet I don't think I'm the only one who struggles with "releasing the oars" to God's control in order to find Him.

May we all have the wisdom to realize our folly as the sailors did and cry out, "O Lord, have done as it pleased you!"

So they picked up Jonah and hurled him into the sea, and the sea ceased from its raging.  Then the men feared the Lord exceedingly, and they offered a sacrifice to the Lord and made vows. (Jonah 1:15-16)

Watch "Divided" for Free!

Is modern youth ministry multiplying or dividing our Lord's church?  Find out in this awesome documentary, which you can watch for free, thanks to Generation Cedar!

Click here to watch:  http://dividedthemovie.com/kelly-crawford

As you look on the church landscape, youth are leaving the faith in droves. The modern church, overall, is struggling to reach the next generation with the gospel. What has happened? Whether for good or bad, men, for many years, have been inventing solutions or brainstorming ideas without fully relying upon the foundation of God’s Word. God, however, is greater than man, and as the heavens are above the earth, so are His ways higher than ours and His thoughts than our thoughts (Is. 55:8-9). We have substituted the greater for the lesser – God’s wisdom for man’s ideas. Jesus said that he who hears His Word and does it, is like a man that built his house upon a rock, and when the storm came, it stood firm. On the other hand, he who rejects His Word, is like a man who built on the sand and when the storm came, the house fell (Matt. 7:24-25). Shouldn’t the church, as a whole, abandon the sandy ideas of man and shamelessly return to the firm rock of the Word of God? God’s Word sufficiently identifies how youth are to be reached. For more information on this issue, please see the film Divided, which is a documentary on age-segregated youth ministry in America. Watch it for free (for a limited time) atwww.dividedthemovie.com. For an in-depth study, the book A Weed in the Church delves into the topic and more thoroughly handles the Scripture passages that address ministry to young people. For other details or to help spread the message, visit www.dividedthemovie.com.

After watching, let me know what you think in the comments!

Autumn Winds Bring a New Baby Game Plan

I have an excuse!  I do!  I know it's been forever since I've posted (again), but I have an excuse!  It is this:  we cut off our internet.  Multiple reasons went into this, the final one being budget cuts.  (Who knew owning a house could be so pricey?)  Another major one was the time we both--especially me--wasted on the computer.  We live only a few minutes from some free hot-spots, so if we REALLY need to get on the internet, we can go there (in fact, I'm writing this from the Whataburger down the road).  Obviously, I haven't "really" needed to get on the internet very often, and when I do, it's a quick in-and-out, so to speak.

We're having a series of dreary days here, but I'm grateful, because rain came along with them, and we desperately needed some (though not as badly as Texas).  The relief from the heat has been welcome as well:  I'm cozy in my flannel shirt today. Yey fall!

Since I last posted, a couple of things have changed.  The most major change is that we stopped training to become foster parents.  The training class was called "Deciding Together" and was aimed at helping hopeful foster folks decide if this unique situation is right for your family.  We decided after prayer and discussion over several weeks that in this time, it is not right for us.  The aim of foster care is to reunify the children with the parents if at all possible, and we knew that we could not wholeheartedly work towards that goal while we were so desperate for children.  Foster care, I imagine, is still in our future, though it is more likely that it will be after we've had/adopted children and they are either older (high school) or we are empty-nesters.

We have also all but ceased fertility treatments; they were just too expensive, and we absolutely could not afford them.  We are saving as hard as we can this year, in hopes that perhaps next year we can start again.  However, there is some good news!  Towards the end of July I ovulated...WITHOUT medication!  It (obviously) didn't result in a pregnancy, but boy was I thrilled to learn that my body was still capable of doing so "on its own."

So this is our game plan:
#1.  Pray for natural ovulation, conception, and a healthy pregnancy.  Pray also for ourselves as we deal with all the emotional, spiritual, and physical challenges that are involved in trying for a baby with continued negative pregnancy tests.  (In fact, I took one this morning "just in case," and was confronted by a single pink line..again.)  Would you join us in these prayers?

#2.  Radically change our diet (I type as I sit in Whataburger).  We are trying valiantly (though not always successfully) to cut out sugar, gluten, and dairy from our diet, not to mention all processed foods.  So what are we eating, you ask?  Well, lots of organic... fresh vegetables and fruits; lean meats and legumes; oatmeal, brown rice, couscous, and quinoa; nuts and seeds; and fresh carrot juice.  We're also going to be experimenting with gluten-free flours, because we both love baking.
I'm also continuing to exercise 2-3 times a week at Curves.

So we'll see what happens.  I know it is in God's hands, whether we change our diet, take medication, or do nothing at all.  Right now, though, I'm thoroughly enjoying every moment of it being "just the two of us."  Trevvor is my best friend, and though I am eager for children, I don't mind not having to share him for a little while longer.  ;)

A Hopeful Momma's Morning at the ART Fertility Program

We were late.  We couldn't figure out where to park, so we walked into the ART Fertility Program's office about 10 minutes after our appointment time.  Whoops.

Obviously I'm not going to post all of the gory details, but here are the highlights.

The meeting with the doctor was informative.  We decided to take a more conservative approach, and so rather than a more invasive measure, we're going to try Femara, which is Clomid on steroids and apparently without the negative side effects.  I'll be much more closely monitored during these Femara cycles than I was while on Clomid, going in several times during the month for bloodwork and evaluations.
While starting up on that, they're going to be doing a series of labs and tests and ultrasounds and all kinds of stuff to try to figure out the "why" of my infertility, which is a relief.  It's quite possible that there's something going on of which infertility is only an indirect result, or that my infertility is directly caused by a problem much more serious than just "not ovulating" and which needs to be quickly addressed.

When we'd walked into the waiting area, I'd given us a once over.  I was in my longest skirt, a button-down shirt, and a white covering.  Trevvor was bearded (as usual), had on a solid white shirt, and dark pants.  I mused, "People are going to think we're Amish or something."  In the meeting with Dr. Houserman, we mentioned we'd missed a month of bloodwork because we were visiting Pennsylvania.  Sure enough, a few minutes later, despite my French braid and Trevvor's dress watch, she asked if we were Amish.  :)

We also met with a nurse practitioner for a physical, a nurse for treatment plan counseling, and a financial adviser.  Things were going great until that financial adviser walked in.  "Wow," she said. "You have a really big deductible.  Until you meet it, you'll have to pay 100% for things at the time of service."

Needless to say, we were floored.  (And so was the receptionist when we payed the much-higher-than-expected bill later.  "You have a ginormous deductible!" she told us. "Yeah," I said. "So we've heard.")  Sure, we'd known we had a big deductible, and we could understand if BCBS wouldn't cover things like IUI or IVF (which they actually will...if we've met the deductible by then), but just basic treatments?  Really?  We weren't prepared for that, and nor were we prepared for that first bill.  "Our maybe-baby better love us a LOT after all of this," I told Trevvor tongue-in-cheek.

So we're re-evaluating things at the moment, squeezing every possible penny into our savings, and praying hard.  We really can't afford the plan of action they'd laid out for us; buying and fixing up a house has left us with a much reduced savings that we're just beginning to build back up.  But we've dived (dove? diven?) in head first, and would it really be wise to back out now?

Pray that God would give us guidance as we make these big (and expensive) decisions.

Patiently waiting...

Mommy in Waiting

So I haven't been writing much.  Okay, I haven't been writing at all.  I've missed it, but I've found that whenever I think, "I need to write a blog post," the things I want to write about aren't necessarily the things that I'm known for writing about.  Maybe I've vented about hot-button issues enough for a while, or maybe since I've more or less worked out where I stand on those issues, I'm not always hashing and re-hashing them in my mind.

Either way, the mood of this blog is changing to reflect my thoughts.  You can see that in my new title, "Mommy in Waiting."  (If you're linked to me on your blog, it would be great if you could change it.)  

So much of my life now revolves around motherhood, and I'm not even really a mother yet.  The most recent objects of my mothering have been the four kittens that were born in our house on Trevvor's birthday this year (April 12).  There are three still living with us, with two of them about to be adopted by Trevvor's mom (we're keeping one).

Many of you have probably been wondering how all my fertility stuff has been going, and possibly even suspected that the reason for my blog silence has been due to a pregnancy.  In God's sovereignty, I have not conceived, and Clomid and I didn't agree with one another.  I started Clomid last July, and the past year has certainly been rough on the emotions.  When I didn't ovulate on my last cycle, my OB/GYN decided it was time for me to move into more expert hands.  This morning Trevvor and I had our initial work-up at the ART Fertility Program in Birmingham.  (That could--and possibly will--be a whole nother blog post in itself.)  So the fertility ball is back on the court and once again rolling towards the possibility of conception.  I'll keep you posted.

But we've also begun to really move forward towards becoming foster/adoptive parents through AGAPE of Central Alabama.  We sent in our application as we were moving a few months ago, and last week we began our training classes with Melissa, our social worker.  By the end of the classes, the background check, and the home-study, we will decide with Melissa if we are ready and able to be certified as either a foster or adoptive family, or both.  We realized that we didn't want to foster while we had young kids in the house, and so now--when we don't have young kids in the house--would be the ideal time to do so.  We've wondered all along if God was "withholding" a birth child so we would open our arms to His children in need of a family.

I am a Mommy in Waiting, and I pray that I can wait patiently for God's timing.